Thursday, August 28, 2008
Knudsen Saves!
The reason I haven't been about for a while is because with Steve Fossett on the lam Richard Branson picked on me to be his new mate for useless endeavours. I just completed a solo round the world viewing of the film Cunt Gushers 4 'the search for yoda' 42 cuntries with only one piss break at each showing.
Hey! don't go calling me ghey for pay if you want yer rent paid you had better pretend to enjoy it when a millionaire kisses you.
I got home and as soon as I did the nice couple across the road decided to move hoose. What a shame. It seems that some dirty cunt has been spying on the wife through the window and once broke in while they were out and sniffed her gunties..................... probably. Fucking stalkers huh they should all be shot.
Who the fuck would stalk her in her wee short shorts she wears every Tuesday night for step aerobics?
Get over yerself woman you aren't all that.
Since cumming to this cuntry I've put on a few pounds and my health has declined. I won't blame the sugar filled food, bad air and bad water its probably Global warming out to get me.
I sat on my lounger in the front garden and leered er I mean watched the neighbours load up their stuff. They kept looking over at me for some reason I wasn't going to help them I've a bad back. I did notice that the woman does tend to cry a lot how annoying that must be.
So I sat there soaking up the vitamin D from the sun and drank my can of Fanta Orange for me vitamin C, I have to look after meself you know. I refuse to start drinking lite beer I might as well go back to drinking my own piss.
I have compromised and have started smoking Marlboro lights to cut back on the calories that way.
I was sitting there and then some cunt blocked my sunlight. Oh fuck I had been trapped out in the open by two Mormons.
Ok I shall have intercourse with these nice young men. They noticed I had an accent and asked if I knew about Mormons. I said yes you cum over to the UK to save us heathens all the time.
The talker was a young white blonde fella and the usual quiet one was either Hispanic or Chinese, hard to tell sometimes.
To mix things up a little I told them I was a Voodoo priest which is actually true as I became one over the Interweb and have performed many sacrifices.
He went on to tell me that God was perfect and that he has a plan for us all. I told him that God was not perfect as I know the fella and if he is perfect then he is a cunt and should kill all the pedos as he has the power.
He frowned as he stood there sweating and went on about personal responsibility and free choice.
I said so Eve bit the apple and was cursed with labour pain as is all of weeman kind, how is it their choice? why should they be punished for her mistake if they all have the choice to make?
He sweated more as his pre-prgrammed answers floated around his head, God is a parent and tells his children of the rules.
I just love the father argument.......... I said as a parent you don't put temptation in the way of children sometimes you have to choose for them, besides God raped Mary and left his son to die on the cross hardly a good parent.
The sweat dripped more and the frown increased but still he was going to save me even though I had been born, reborn, converted and aborted many a time.
Then he said Jesus knew the plan and agreed to go to the cross.
I said, did he not say, "Oh dad why have you forsaken me?" that implies that God told him a plan in which he would be busted off the cross instead of being left to suffer to death.
The Hispanic Chinese guy was getting fidgety and said well we can't change your mind on this but was cut off by the master race guy.
He told me about their modern day prophet and I said he was in a cult just like the Catholic church. He then went on to talk about Salt lake city and I said about all the Indians they killed to get that land. He looked sad and said yes we did kill Indians.
I asked so is it ok to kill in the name of god then? and asked if someone broke into my hoose to harm my family and I killed them would I go to Hell?
He said some gibberish about its not thou shall not kill its thou shall not murder, the translation was wrong........... handy that.
I learned that they go out on a mission to spread the word of God for 2 years and pay money for that privilege which says it all there, they are idiots and don't laugh about Joesph Smith pulling out secret dogma from a hat and wearing magic glasses and certainly don't compare him to Harry Potter they don't like that.
The blonde guy told me how much he loved to spread the word and wanted to hand me a card. So that was it, handing out a card was the deal breaker they wouldn't leave until I took one must be a rule they have.
I looked at the card and it had their temple on it. The blonde guy boasted about how it took 40 years to build, I said what a waste of money and what better use it could have went to. Jesus never built a temple or Francis of fucking Assisi they preached where they stood.
Master race guy then went on about how it had to be a perfect place of worship as God deserves the best.
I tried to get into Lucifer being cast out for the sin of pride and how two faced God must be or the Mormons must be the cult of Satan but the two lads had to go, what a shame I was enjoying myself.
Mormons may be dumb as a box of frogs but they are nice polite people and not as bad as Jehovah witnesses. I have planted my seeds of doubt into one young fella maybe he'll start to think for himself someday.
I did miss all the bending over and lifting of boxes though that was annoying.
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Labels:
mormons,
short shorts.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Slag Them All Off And Let God Sort Out His Own
Now Old Knudsen has nothing against gheys, live and let live no matter how disgusting and immoral you are thats what Old Knudsen says. If its a life-style choice then you'll burn in Hell but if you just happened to be shipwrecked on an island for 3 years with 4 good looking young firm men then its any port in a storm and God will understand.
No really, people that say, "I wouldn't eat bugs no matter what" just haven't been hungry enough and besides I did say they were good looking firm young men. Not that anything happened. Ok the island was Guernsey off the coast of France but details just get in the way sometimes.
Um look a hot woman. I would totally do a lying week on her, oh yeah she'd be begging fer more like they all do. Of course I wouldn't let her beg too long as I enjoy sex with females, now pushing a woman's poo doesn't give you ghey or Catholic inclinations I'd just like to clear that up.
What is wrong with America that they have to create these disgusting articles of head wear? I take head wear seriously thats why I mositurise me knob so you might get the odd taste of Dove if you suck me off, no not the soap I mean pigeons. Wrap some duct tape around the wee fuckers so they don't split on you and fuck them.
Some people hire those hawk trainer people to fly their hawk around to scare off pigeons as they can be a real nusiance like at airports or car parks or airport car parks, you get the idea. To really scare them off I'd be hired to hang around for an hour with a roll of tape and the wee bastards would fly off, word gets around I suppose.
Look a hot Asian chick pinching her nipples, see? I'm straight as they cum unless shes a gurly boy of course now thats the best of both worlds . Ever been to bangkok? Kok has been banged so many times his farts are silent.
I got this picture from someone who might or might not read this blog but I haven't been racist in this post and I felt like I needed to be in case all of my readers of colour felt left out. Remember during the whole Katrina ethnic cleansing hurricane thingy? well the darkies turned up their noses at the food that was dropped as who the fuck wants rice and water? So Donald Do-gooder did an air-lift of fried chicken and malt liquor and all hell broke loose. This was the last we saw of Donald as we believed he was cannibalised by Johnny black fella.
So, have you been watching the Olympics? nah me neither who gives a fuck?
What organization has killed millions of people and tortured thousands more? thought they were better than everyone else and so could dictate the law? Has put weemen in their place and killed them if they didn't comply? has complete morons as followers and likes to fondle children?
Answer at the bottom of the post.
Trust the Japs to make Anime pedo dolls. If it were up to me I would have used 5 nukes on them, fucking Yanks soft as shite.
"The Iranians abused me and made me cry by flicking the back of my neck." Horatio Nelson one of Britain's greatest navel heroes would be spinning in his grave at the sight of the modern day navy and military in general.
The Russians kick fuck out of their soldiers for fun and the Brits did right up until the 80's. Now its I-Pods and getting yer arse handed to you on a dirty plate by sandsavages. The west is getting it's pan knocked in. The west has nukes for fucks sake might as well use them cos the miltary is useless.
Oh no waterboarding is torture, well what the fuck do you think they would do to you? they would get an eleven year-old to hack off yer head with a pen-knife in the name of Allah.
Answer:
PETA, brutal cunts they are, crazy as fuck.
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No really, people that say, "I wouldn't eat bugs no matter what" just haven't been hungry enough and besides I did say they were good looking firm young men. Not that anything happened. Ok the island was Guernsey off the coast of France but details just get in the way sometimes.
Um look a hot woman. I would totally do a lying week on her, oh yeah she'd be begging fer more like they all do. Of course I wouldn't let her beg too long as I enjoy sex with females, now pushing a woman's poo doesn't give you ghey or Catholic inclinations I'd just like to clear that up.
What is wrong with America that they have to create these disgusting articles of head wear? I take head wear seriously thats why I mositurise me knob so you might get the odd taste of Dove if you suck me off, no not the soap I mean pigeons. Wrap some duct tape around the wee fuckers so they don't split on you and fuck them.
Some people hire those hawk trainer people to fly their hawk around to scare off pigeons as they can be a real nusiance like at airports or car parks or airport car parks, you get the idea. To really scare them off I'd be hired to hang around for an hour with a roll of tape and the wee bastards would fly off, word gets around I suppose.
Look a hot Asian chick pinching her nipples, see? I'm straight as they cum unless shes a gurly boy of course now thats the best of both worlds . Ever been to bangkok? Kok has been banged so many times his farts are silent.
I got this picture from someone who might or might not read this blog but I haven't been racist in this post and I felt like I needed to be in case all of my readers of colour felt left out. Remember during the whole Katrina ethnic cleansing hurricane thingy? well the darkies turned up their noses at the food that was dropped as who the fuck wants rice and water? So Donald Do-gooder did an air-lift of fried chicken and malt liquor and all hell broke loose. This was the last we saw of Donald as we believed he was cannibalised by Johnny black fella.
So, have you been watching the Olympics? nah me neither who gives a fuck?
What organization has killed millions of people and tortured thousands more? thought they were better than everyone else and so could dictate the law? Has put weemen in their place and killed them if they didn't comply? has complete morons as followers and likes to fondle children?
Answer at the bottom of the post.
Trust the Japs to make Anime pedo dolls. If it were up to me I would have used 5 nukes on them, fucking Yanks soft as shite.
"The Iranians abused me and made me cry by flicking the back of my neck." Horatio Nelson one of Britain's greatest navel heroes would be spinning in his grave at the sight of the modern day navy and military in general.
The Russians kick fuck out of their soldiers for fun and the Brits did right up until the 80's. Now its I-Pods and getting yer arse handed to you on a dirty plate by sandsavages. The west is getting it's pan knocked in. The west has nukes for fucks sake might as well use them cos the miltary is useless.
Oh no waterboarding is torture, well what the fuck do you think they would do to you? they would get an eleven year-old to hack off yer head with a pen-knife in the name of Allah.
Answer:
PETA, brutal cunts they are, crazy as fuck.
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Monday, August 18, 2008
A Half Blood Prince Is No Use To Man Nor Beast
"I have sometime to tell you, I'm a ghey mong"................ " yer ugly as well and HP is shite"
I knew it all along, Harry Potter is a queer! woops thats a post for another day when he finally cums out of his demonic witches broom closet may he burn in Hell with his Satan overlord.
No lets start off a bit more gently Harry Potter or rather the little boy Daniel Radcliffe who plays him is a mong! yep a tard a Joey Deacon, he rides the window licking bus to ghey central.
You know what that means then? those who have read and enjoyed the books or even the films if that is at all possible are mongs by association .
Radcliffe who is aged 12 but chain smokes to look cool and older suffers from some made up load of bollocks called dyspraxia which sounds like the meds I'm taking to stop my constant painful 4 four long erections, not painful for me I must add.
The condition means he has trouble tying his shoelaces, sounds like a normal teenager to me. Have you seen those adverts on the telly aimed at stupid kids and their idiot parents? The shoe laces cum alive and tangle the child so they can't run or play or buy drugs whatever the young uns do these days. To save the day cums Z-Straps which is Velcro shoes.
A teen can operate a computer or mobile phone but give them a pair of shoe laces or a clock that isn't digital and the are fucked, which reminds me Gary Glitter is being kicked out of Vietnam after serving his time as a pedo, if any of my English readers want to kill him when he gets to the UK just send me his head as proof and I'll send you an 'Old Knudsen' t-shirt. Its cumming up to wash week so sending it to you is as much hassle as washing it, you can see proof of my night sweats on it.
So anyway laces. When I was a commando in WWII if you were unsure of who the person was you'd crawl up behind the soldier and feel his laces, if they were zig zagged he was a German if they were straight across he was a Brit or was it the other way around? anyway I killed my fair share of Yanks and civilians but whose counting we fucking well won?
Dyspraxia can affect any or all areas of development, including intellectual, physical and language, and can impair a person’s normal process of learning.
In other words even if you are a weedy,stuttering, mong who knows fuck all you can still become an actor. Remember that the next time Affleck tells you to vote or Clooney wants you so save some wogs in Africa or Di caprio cries about global warming, I don't see that Gore licking cunt buying me a Hybrid.
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I knew it all along, Harry Potter is a queer! woops thats a post for another day when he finally cums out of his demonic witches broom closet may he burn in Hell with his Satan overlord.
No lets start off a bit more gently Harry Potter or rather the little boy Daniel Radcliffe who plays him is a mong! yep a tard a Joey Deacon, he rides the window licking bus to ghey central.
You know what that means then? those who have read and enjoyed the books or even the films if that is at all possible are mongs by association .
Radcliffe who is aged 12 but chain smokes to look cool and older suffers from some made up load of bollocks called dyspraxia which sounds like the meds I'm taking to stop my constant painful 4 four long erections, not painful for me I must add.
The condition means he has trouble tying his shoelaces, sounds like a normal teenager to me. Have you seen those adverts on the telly aimed at stupid kids and their idiot parents? The shoe laces cum alive and tangle the child so they can't run or play or buy drugs whatever the young uns do these days. To save the day cums Z-Straps which is Velcro shoes.
A teen can operate a computer or mobile phone but give them a pair of shoe laces or a clock that isn't digital and the are fucked, which reminds me Gary Glitter is being kicked out of Vietnam after serving his time as a pedo, if any of my English readers want to kill him when he gets to the UK just send me his head as proof and I'll send you an 'Old Knudsen' t-shirt. Its cumming up to wash week so sending it to you is as much hassle as washing it, you can see proof of my night sweats on it.
So anyway laces. When I was a commando in WWII if you were unsure of who the person was you'd crawl up behind the soldier and feel his laces, if they were zig zagged he was a German if they were straight across he was a Brit or was it the other way around? anyway I killed my fair share of Yanks and civilians but whose counting we fucking well won?
Dyspraxia can affect any or all areas of development, including intellectual, physical and language, and can impair a person’s normal process of learning.
In other words even if you are a weedy,stuttering, mong who knows fuck all you can still become an actor. Remember that the next time Affleck tells you to vote or Clooney wants you so save some wogs in Africa or Di caprio cries about global warming, I don't see that Gore licking cunt buying me a Hybrid.
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Labels:
Dumbledore is ghey,
Harry potter
Friday, August 15, 2008
First We Take Mans Hat On
A little song a little dance, Batman's head upon a lance. A sample of my up and coming cum back CD, CD not VD that cleared up . You cunts had better buy it when its cums out cos I want to be rich.
Warning if there are children in the room now is a good time to groom them.
Some people have said my singing is an acquired taste, those fuckers can fuck away off and die in a fuck bucket full of sickly fuck.
This is not a YouTube this is a display of MY talent though I may have to eventually become a YouTube star in order to break America. Ach you become what you hate the most I find.
Heres a joke fer ya, Whats 9 inches and covered in shite?
My boot from kicking you up the hole if ya don't buy my CD.
Rolling Stone Magazine
"Old Knudsen is raw, edgy and smells of piss he could be the next Pat Boon."
Readers Digest
"Sexy and irreverent I'm hooked."
Killamory Times
"Old Knudsen to be extradited back to Scotland to face war crime charges."
Dumb American Weekly
"I just love these old Irish ballads."
The Bishop Of Leeds
"Hang the prod fucker."
Anonymous Boxer
"I'm not paying good money for that crap."
MJ
"I have sex to this song."
Angela
"Angela likes to cut herself to this song."
Northern Tool + Equipment
"We'd really not like to comment."
Dedicated to the victims of the Omagh bombing, 15th August 1998 .
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Warning if there are children in the room now is a good time to groom them.
Some people have said my singing is an acquired taste, those fuckers can fuck away off and die in a fuck bucket full of sickly fuck.
This is not a YouTube this is a display of MY talent though I may have to eventually become a YouTube star in order to break America. Ach you become what you hate the most I find.
Heres a joke fer ya, Whats 9 inches and covered in shite?
My boot from kicking you up the hole if ya don't buy my CD.
Rolling Stone Magazine
"Old Knudsen is raw, edgy and smells of piss he could be the next Pat Boon."
Readers Digest
"Sexy and irreverent I'm hooked."
Killamory Times
"Old Knudsen to be extradited back to Scotland to face war crime charges."
Dumb American Weekly
"I just love these old Irish ballads."
The Bishop Of Leeds
"Hang the prod fucker."
Anonymous Boxer
"I'm not paying good money for that crap."
MJ
"I have sex to this song."
Angela
"Angela likes to cut herself to this song."
Northern Tool + Equipment
"We'd really not like to comment."
Dedicated to the victims of the Omagh bombing, 15th August 1998 .
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Labels:
cd,
curry flavours the bald,
out there even further,
shite
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Two Arms
I thought that when the other big cuntries bent on world domination would make a move it would be China taking over Taiwan. The world would be impotent to stop them because of the size of China and the fact that it has bought most of the West and who wants to ruin the elitist Olympic games?
China hasn't done anything that America or Great Britain hasn't done anyway we just don't like weirdo cuntries doing the invading.
No one of China's buddies has started it and no one can stop them or win in a war against them but me.
Russia has invaded Georgia. I pity Savannah who lives doon that way but I'm willing to bet with their excessive drinking habits she will fit in nicely.
Who will save Amanda kozak miss Georgia in 2007? her virtue is in peril.
The oppressive former commie regime is against freedom and will out-law many things including drug use, reality shows and camel toe. We must rise up and fight. In Russia itself Putin has decided that Stalin is only to be thought of as a tough leader and not a blood thirsty murderer who killed anyone he thought was a threat to him, Putin thinks that Stalin is cuddly? I'd be worried about that alone.
Ever notice that Russia spelt backwards is ai-ssur ? well I won't be saying "Aye sir" to those cunts which is why they will be marching towards Callyfornia to kill me, does my loyal service during the cold war not mean a thing? away and fuck Russia.
Yes America go on about Brittany or who John Edwards has been shafting and just ignore the big stories that will effect the world.
This is what North Korea and Iran do all the time, they cross the line and see what the rest of the world will do except they already knew the world can't do fuck all.
We can't beat Russia even if they didn't have China and Iran as buddies but I shall go doon trying and they will have to pry my Colt Commando from my cold dead hands. Fuck you Joe Kennedy, Chamberlain and Obama you'll be finding no cowardly appeasement here just death and bullets, yes mostly my death but I shall arise on the third day and fuck off to Heaven but don't worry you'll get yer reward after you die. I also have some swamp land that is ideal for building upon to sell you .
Arm yerselves people, not just against the Russians but also against yer neighbours for this is the beginning of the end. The west is weak and the east is strong, they have the manpower and the oil and we have Paris Hilton and David fucking Beckham.
Wake up world and build yer armies, Churchill said the same thing about Germany so listen up wankers.
Germany, Russia and China why can't they have easier languages to learn?
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Labels:
Russia invades Georgia,
world war 3
Monday, August 11, 2008
Go Shaft Yerself
Issac Hayes, 65, who wrote the Shaft film soundtrack in the 70's died after being found by his fourth wife Adjowa and young son Nana Kwadjo unconscious beside a running treadmill at his home.
The running treadmill is being hunted doon by police as running from a dead body is an international sign of guilt, except when my old mucker Billy one ear ran when his wife died as who the fuck was going to believe she kept a toaster beside her bath for a few rounds of toast while she soaked?
The singing star had 12 children, 14 grandchildren and three great-grandchildren and no doubt plenty of bastard children as he just looks the type.
That Shaft film was a load of old bollocks, a black James Bond with fried chicken and none of the class, the name itself implies that black men have big cocks when we all know its the Scottish that are well hung south of the border and I don't mean by the dirty Sassenachs.
I liked him as Chef in South Park, that song 'Chocolate salty balls' is one I love to sing in the golden shower.
I get people who will laugh when I make fun of blacks, slavs, liberals or gheys but if you make a joke about something they hold dear or defend such topics then they get all offended, people do have their boundaries they should just understand like Southpark I don't give a fuck............... saying that if you ever bad mouth the Queen I will hunt you doon and kill everyone you hold dear and then you. I bad mouthed the Queen once but then I used this new tongue technique and she loved it, to quote, " Oh my Sir Knudsen we are arriving."
Hayes was a hypocrite and quit the show after an episode which ridiculed Scientology, claiming his religious beliefs should be 'respected and honoured' unlike all the other religions he gladly mocked.
That message was beamed into his head by his alien overlords, yep the same ones who helped Hitler kill millions of big nosed money lenders.
Rest in peace Mr Hayes in yer creepy Scientology heaven, are you still a Scientologist when you stop paying yer membership fees and are no longer of any use to them? I don't know it all sounds a bit Fenian to me.
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Labels:
fat fuck of a scientologist,
Issac Hayes
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Say NO! To Ghey Marriage
There is an expression: "Its often a man's mouth that breaks his nose" well it was falling off a skateboard that broke my nose, ever since then if my nose takes a hit it bleeds. I don't mind a bit of my own blood but it tends to freak others out. That was when the skateboarding craze hit for the first time in Killamory then there were yo-yo's that that renamed 'Spinners' both fads died and kept coming back just like Smallpox.
Anyway since Arnold Schwarzenegger could become governor of Callyfornia and since he is a Nazi cyborg from the future and not even American then I have a shot at it. I may have a checkered past like the time I shot, JFK, MLK, EMF and MILF but bygones be bygones etc and the sexual harassment cases are pure lies. I did used to be a crackhead and a drug dealer who has been caught with many prostitutes but in politics that is good .
Later on this year Callyfornia is going to review ghey marriage. I have decided to stand against it.
This is wrong and disgusting and no one wants to see this or even think about it.
Yuck yuck yuck!
If my day the word 'ghey' meant happy and you know why? because they were free to have sex with whoever they wanted and had disposable income to spend as they pleased.
Let them remain ghey, in the bible it says only the pure of heart shall know the misery known as marriage, lets keep it to ourselves and they can fuck off and stay happy and ghey.
As for same sex, let them wake up night after a night of exciting sex with different people and never let them know the joy to have sex with the same person for years and years running out of adventurous ideas and watching as they get fat and old.
Partnerships in prison is fine as on long sea voyages but queerdom is just disgusting. When I watch porn I want to see a naked man with a huge erection glistening with sweat penetrating a woman and I want to see his climax face, none of that queer bum banditry or gurl on girl stuff thats just wrong and any type of orgy or three-way is ghey too.
Take away same sex marriage, then take away weemen's votes. It all went wrong with birth control and child support payments. America is like the Roman empire on speed, if it is to last another 100 years then you need me I'll sort it out. The blacks will be sent home to Africa free of charge where they will be happy, no more abortion. The unwanted children will be put into camps and turned into soldiers, health care will be available to all except the fat, old or very sick, all the dangerous criminals will be given box cutters and left to roam free in the middle east. America will be the land of the free once again as soon as I raise taxes.
God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, er actually he did create them too so I'm at a loss therefore what I don't understand must be killed, Arabs I don't understand them either or Welshmen, kill them all and let God sort out the mess.
Look what fun the bloke is having, doesn't this seem so pure and holy as if God himself wanted it? I'm sure the woman is enjoying it too but as long as the man cums then thats God's will.
So wrong and demonic, I refuse to look at her shapely arse.
Then again what business has the fucking government got telling people who they can or cannot marry? This politicking is very difficult.
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Anyway since Arnold Schwarzenegger could become governor of Callyfornia and since he is a Nazi cyborg from the future and not even American then I have a shot at it. I may have a checkered past like the time I shot, JFK, MLK, EMF and MILF but bygones be bygones etc and the sexual harassment cases are pure lies. I did used to be a crackhead and a drug dealer who has been caught with many prostitutes but in politics that is good .
Later on this year Callyfornia is going to review ghey marriage. I have decided to stand against it.
This is wrong and disgusting and no one wants to see this or even think about it.
Yuck yuck yuck!
If my day the word 'ghey' meant happy and you know why? because they were free to have sex with whoever they wanted and had disposable income to spend as they pleased.
Let them remain ghey, in the bible it says only the pure of heart shall know the misery known as marriage, lets keep it to ourselves and they can fuck off and stay happy and ghey.
As for same sex, let them wake up night after a night of exciting sex with different people and never let them know the joy to have sex with the same person for years and years running out of adventurous ideas and watching as they get fat and old.
Partnerships in prison is fine as on long sea voyages but queerdom is just disgusting. When I watch porn I want to see a naked man with a huge erection glistening with sweat penetrating a woman and I want to see his climax face, none of that queer bum banditry or gurl on girl stuff thats just wrong and any type of orgy or three-way is ghey too.
Take away same sex marriage, then take away weemen's votes. It all went wrong with birth control and child support payments. America is like the Roman empire on speed, if it is to last another 100 years then you need me I'll sort it out. The blacks will be sent home to Africa free of charge where they will be happy, no more abortion. The unwanted children will be put into camps and turned into soldiers, health care will be available to all except the fat, old or very sick, all the dangerous criminals will be given box cutters and left to roam free in the middle east. America will be the land of the free once again as soon as I raise taxes.
God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve, er actually he did create them too so I'm at a loss therefore what I don't understand must be killed, Arabs I don't understand them either or Welshmen, kill them all and let God sort out the mess.
Look what fun the bloke is having, doesn't this seem so pure and holy as if God himself wanted it? I'm sure the woman is enjoying it too but as long as the man cums then thats God's will.
So wrong and demonic, I refuse to look at her shapely arse.
Then again what business has the fucking government got telling people who they can or cannot marry? This politicking is very difficult.
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Wednesday, August 6, 2008
The Mating Game
I am so fucking hot!
In the animal kingdom mates are picked not for the ability to buy rounds of drink but for health and plumage.
You pathetic mortals are just animals ................. so you are. In the golden god circles in which I move we call you jelly bags or meat sacks, no offense.
Mates (to mate with) are still picked by plumage and health in the human world and also if they have been on TV or did something remotely famous. Bragging rights, I want to shag famous film star Olivia de Havilland before she dies just so I can brag about it, shes 92 but I bet she can still buck like a mule.
She'll die with her boots on and they'll be up in the air.
Ugly fuckers like JFK or Slick Willy Wonky Clinton can get the weemen just because they were presidents. When I chat up weemen in a bar and they ask what I do for a living I say "I'm the president" it works 9 out of 10 times.
Look at my crotch bitch now suck me like I'm a big fat Cuban.
We all know what men want in a woman, they want her to be there and possibly conscious, consent is usually good too. Oh and alive some men are just so picky.
This is what men want right? to me I find their hips too narrow for good child birthing and checking out other weemen is a bad sign, yes I want you to make out with another gurl, famous last words when they find out they like it more.
Marriages based on what you can get or settling are doomed to failure, especially when fag hags marry ghey men in denial. Imagine these two having sex, do ya still have yer breakfast? its the most important meal of the day eat it again ya cunt.
I just didn't get these two, she is perfect while hes a boring dry shite. I mean how big is his dick? it must be huge for him to look so look so smug. Well they broke up too as she really wants me and she knows it.
"A man in a cap is to be lusted over" thats in the bible you know. The late Jack Sugden here used to have pussy thrown at him, well not at him launched in the air for him to shoot at, what a man. I remember when Emmerdale was called Emmerdale Farm, yep the Yank readers are totally lost.
Its more than just psychical for me I want a woman with talent.
Talent and a blog I'm sick of bimbos with nothing to say just hot firm bodied sex all the time it gets so boring.
Weemen want cock, cuddle and chocolate and to be told lies about the size of their arses and for you to appreciate them as people, silly things like that. While weemen don't get attracted to fake tits and a stench trench to poke they do get attracted to men who will treat them like shit, the wrong kind of plumage I believe, but they like everyone else must learn from their mistakes.
Willow from Buffy.
The older you get the more yer tastes change and while you were young and hot you'd not look twice at someone but now you would as age and desperation er I mean maturity kicks in yer standards change.
Even gingers have a chance with me now, as do the blind, the mentally disabled and the incontinent. Any continent really.
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In the animal kingdom mates are picked not for the ability to buy rounds of drink but for health and plumage.
You pathetic mortals are just animals ................. so you are. In the golden god circles in which I move we call you jelly bags or meat sacks, no offense.
Mates (to mate with) are still picked by plumage and health in the human world and also if they have been on TV or did something remotely famous. Bragging rights, I want to shag famous film star Olivia de Havilland before she dies just so I can brag about it, shes 92 but I bet she can still buck like a mule.
She'll die with her boots on and they'll be up in the air.
Ugly fuckers like JFK or Slick Willy Wonky Clinton can get the weemen just because they were presidents. When I chat up weemen in a bar and they ask what I do for a living I say "I'm the president" it works 9 out of 10 times.
Look at my crotch bitch now suck me like I'm a big fat Cuban.
We all know what men want in a woman, they want her to be there and possibly conscious, consent is usually good too. Oh and alive some men are just so picky.
This is what men want right? to me I find their hips too narrow for good child birthing and checking out other weemen is a bad sign, yes I want you to make out with another gurl, famous last words when they find out they like it more.
Marriages based on what you can get or settling are doomed to failure, especially when fag hags marry ghey men in denial. Imagine these two having sex, do ya still have yer breakfast? its the most important meal of the day eat it again ya cunt.
I just didn't get these two, she is perfect while hes a boring dry shite. I mean how big is his dick? it must be huge for him to look so look so smug. Well they broke up too as she really wants me and she knows it.
"A man in a cap is to be lusted over" thats in the bible you know. The late Jack Sugden here used to have pussy thrown at him, well not at him launched in the air for him to shoot at, what a man. I remember when Emmerdale was called Emmerdale Farm, yep the Yank readers are totally lost.
Its more than just psychical for me I want a woman with talent.
Talent and a blog I'm sick of bimbos with nothing to say just hot firm bodied sex all the time it gets so boring.
Weemen want cock, cuddle and chocolate and to be told lies about the size of their arses and for you to appreciate them as people, silly things like that. While weemen don't get attracted to fake tits and a stench trench to poke they do get attracted to men who will treat them like shit, the wrong kind of plumage I believe, but they like everyone else must learn from their mistakes.
Willow from Buffy.
The older you get the more yer tastes change and while you were young and hot you'd not look twice at someone but now you would as age and desperation er I mean maturity kicks in yer standards change.
Even gingers have a chance with me now, as do the blind, the mentally disabled and the incontinent. Any continent really.
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Labels:
battle of the sexes,
naked weemen
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I'm A Winner!!!!
I entered a competition on the beautiful MJ's blog to put a name forward for her dating service. You know me I pull a few names out of me arse and submit them with the minimal amount of thought cos I'm lazy. I had 'Very last chance dating service' or something like that but the readers picked, ' Fag, hag and the odd slag dating service' . I was more surprised than anyone that I won and for my sins I gave MJ my address for my super duper prize.
Yes I do suspect it was rigged just to get my address in order to send hate mail and debt collectors to me as that is what I got, well ok thats what I usually get.
I got a package very quickly from Canada containing the above book. She said it might cum in handy. It was a short book with lots of pictures so I was pretty pleased.
MJ then went on holiday and sent out postcards to all her devoted followers. I was outraged at the rude word that was on it and so was my neighbour the vicar who got it by mistake. That was just before he left his wife and ran off with the organist . His wife should have played on the organ more I reckon.One of the bits of advice was if you see a mountain lion flash it, it also suggested that method for weemen in the park and for when you hang around the local school during lunch break. Tell me something I didn't know please.
I actually did the research for this book, I was the one who jumped out of moving cars while taking notes and was the test subject for the section, 'how to take punches to the head' I'm surprised I'm not drain bamaged by now.
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Yes I do suspect it was rigged just to get my address in order to send hate mail and debt collectors to me as that is what I got, well ok thats what I usually get.
I got a package very quickly from Canada containing the above book. She said it might cum in handy. It was a short book with lots of pictures so I was pretty pleased.
MJ then went on holiday and sent out postcards to all her devoted followers. I was outraged at the rude word that was on it and so was my neighbour the vicar who got it by mistake. That was just before he left his wife and ran off with the organist . His wife should have played on the organ more I reckon.One of the bits of advice was if you see a mountain lion flash it, it also suggested that method for weemen in the park and for when you hang around the local school during lunch break. Tell me something I didn't know please.
I actually did the research for this book, I was the one who jumped out of moving cars while taking notes and was the test subject for the section, 'how to take punches to the head' I'm surprised I'm not drain bamaged by now.
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Labels:
MJ's beast
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Jet Li Meet Bus Li, Bus Li Eat Jet Li
I recently heard about this bloke who stabbed a guy 50 times aboard a bus in Canada. 40-year-old Vince Weiguang Li, of Edmonton stabbed 22 year old Tim McLean who witnesses say was asleep when Li attacked him with a knife.
The news didn't release right away was that Li also had a pair of scissors and was cutting bits off the body and eating it.
Maybe bus companies will look at this and provide snacks aboard buses.
Ok this bloke Li must of had some mental illness no doubt caused by steroids in the food and too much coffee or as I suspect the power of evil infected him.
I don't mean the Devil, Lucifer or any other dumping ground for bad in order to make God look good I mean that evil exists and I believe it is as real any physical illness.
Being a sufferer of depression (mostly caused by my blog readers) I know that evil is attracted to those who are mentally vulnerable and go on to make it worse until you pull yer boot straps up and tell it to fuck off. Yes I have held my service revolver in my hand and thought about ending it all ............. no not killing myself, more like killing you fuckers which is why I never get told real life home addresses.
If allowed to wallow in self pity and if you listen to the voices that tell you to kill all the hoors you'll end up on a bus with a severed head chomping on an ear, trust me on this and learn from my mistakes.
Besides it seems that Asian males are nuts anyway be it the hunter that shot people, the Virginia tech shootings, the Glasgow airport bombing or Indonesia in general.
I'm not being racist just don't trust those inscrutable slitty eyed fuckers especially the ones that carry big knives and a pair of scissors.
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Labels:
Vince Weiguang Li
Torture Music
I'm angry again, this kidz Bop shite with 10 kids singing the same song and the songs all sound the same while doing moves a stripper would be proud of. I wonder do Priests and other pedos tune into the Disney channel for a wank?
Please would someone ask the Bishop of Leeds for me as he isn't taking my calls anymore since our last tiff.
If yer under the age of 16 I do not want to see you get on like an adult in manner of dress. I say 16 because child benefits stop at that age in the UK cos you have to go out and get a fucking job then. Unlike America where they patronise you until the age of 21 then again 21 year-old Yanks are still quite immature due to being treated like kids for longer who then grow up to be useless adults who still think they are 21 and don't know how to boil an egg.
Remember this? what fucking parent does this to their child? Yes the world is full of Ramseys and McCanns whose head is up their holes and their children pay the price.
Adults can get on like hoors or whatever they should know better but the kids have to be protected and given structure in their lives not mobile phones.
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Please would someone ask the Bishop of Leeds for me as he isn't taking my calls anymore since our last tiff.
If yer under the age of 16 I do not want to see you get on like an adult in manner of dress. I say 16 because child benefits stop at that age in the UK cos you have to go out and get a fucking job then. Unlike America where they patronise you until the age of 21 then again 21 year-old Yanks are still quite immature due to being treated like kids for longer who then grow up to be useless adults who still think they are 21 and don't know how to boil an egg.
Remember this? what fucking parent does this to their child? Yes the world is full of Ramseys and McCanns whose head is up their holes and their children pay the price.
Adults can get on like hoors or whatever they should know better but the kids have to be protected and given structure in their lives not mobile phones.
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Labels:
Karate Kid,
Pedos,
priests
Friday, August 1, 2008
Boxing Day
The ancient Greeks used to partake in sports like boxing and wrestling, they also thought buggering young boys was cool.
Time to give my expert and most valuable opinion on the sport of boxing. The point of boxing is two opponents beating on one another until one can't anymore, sure that sounds great but there are poofy things called rules involved and you know me and rules, my dislike of rules has made me vastly popular with the Diocese of leeds and my fellow bloggers . Go one about freedom of speech all you like but when there is something you don't like you attack.
At big boxing matches they have hot weemen holding up cards to tell people what round it is. I don't see the need for the card but I do like hot weemen.
Call Boxing sport or art or science if you want, sport is an excuse for men to hug, kiss and grapple half naked without coming out of the closet, art is for boring twats who cry at sunsets and science doesn't exist, sorry I don't believe in it.
I'd say she was more of a 9, don't put yerself doon so much lass.
Boxing or fighting for sport has gone on for centuries, the people who do this for a living are intellectuals who only do it to fund their helping of orphans in the third world and their research into curing cancer.
Here is a boxing world champion showing off her not very practical belt.
"Lower, lower oh yeah thats it, so do you fancy a tough game of chess later?" "Ok as long as I can be the top hat."
Only kidding smart uns may spar or train now'a'days since boxing went mainstream but really boxers aren't too bright or they wouldn't be boxers, just like supermodels there are time contraints on their career and injury may stop it, you don't get many 80 year-old supermodels or boxers making it big.
Yeah shes ok, she may be able to punch me out but would she gets my humour?
I've watched boring heavyweights leaning on each other totally knackered and lightweights pancing about with fists of fury, very homo erotic and primative.
Or just plain minging, must be leezers.
As long as people will pay to see it people will become boxers.
I've boxed in the army and I didn't like it, it takes a lot of endurance and to be honest I felt very flat footed and heavy I liked the martial arts training better.
In the real world I've been in fights and have won more than I've lost but I've used my head, feet, knees etc and also whatever was lying about. Train all you want it takes just one surprise or lucky hit to put you doon. If yer fit you can take more or run away faster.
I see boxing as being outdated and so does the world otherwise you wouldn't have all this Ultimate fighting coming out. I suggest we totally move it on and have knife fighting or swords and someday we'll have 21 st century lazer fights.
Yes we all hang around this interesting bloke for his mind and personality or was it because the boss told us too? There are more brain cells in my shit than in this picture, do these people love themselves or what?
Muhammed Ali was intelligent and handsome right? well thats what we were told, we were also told that the Kennedys and the weemen from sex in the sexy are glamourous bollocks. How smart do you have to be to convert to Islam? and besides if boxing was so good why did Ali have objections to his hefty daughter becoming one?
I looked at Ali the other day and I think I could take him, he didn't look so tough.
Its all a bit of crack at least its not you getting the shit knocked out of you but then again no one offers me 10 million to get beat up in public.
Like everything else boxers start losing and become has beens, like actors and singers and even bloggers, I used to be great you know I could have been a contender then I stopped caring so much now take me or leave me many have I don't do this for a living or I might have to put thought into my posts.
At least I have my looks and thought proces........................................ look a porn site with midgets .
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Time to give my expert and most valuable opinion on the sport of boxing. The point of boxing is two opponents beating on one another until one can't anymore, sure that sounds great but there are poofy things called rules involved and you know me and rules, my dislike of rules has made me vastly popular with the Diocese of leeds and my fellow bloggers . Go one about freedom of speech all you like but when there is something you don't like you attack.
At big boxing matches they have hot weemen holding up cards to tell people what round it is. I don't see the need for the card but I do like hot weemen.
Call Boxing sport or art or science if you want, sport is an excuse for men to hug, kiss and grapple half naked without coming out of the closet, art is for boring twats who cry at sunsets and science doesn't exist, sorry I don't believe in it.
I'd say she was more of a 9, don't put yerself doon so much lass.
Boxing or fighting for sport has gone on for centuries, the people who do this for a living are intellectuals who only do it to fund their helping of orphans in the third world and their research into curing cancer.
Here is a boxing world champion showing off her not very practical belt.
"Lower, lower oh yeah thats it, so do you fancy a tough game of chess later?" "Ok as long as I can be the top hat."
Only kidding smart uns may spar or train now'a'days since boxing went mainstream but really boxers aren't too bright or they wouldn't be boxers, just like supermodels there are time contraints on their career and injury may stop it, you don't get many 80 year-old supermodels or boxers making it big.
Yeah shes ok, she may be able to punch me out but would she gets my humour?
I've watched boring heavyweights leaning on each other totally knackered and lightweights pancing about with fists of fury, very homo erotic and primative.
Or just plain minging, must be leezers.
As long as people will pay to see it people will become boxers.
I've boxed in the army and I didn't like it, it takes a lot of endurance and to be honest I felt very flat footed and heavy I liked the martial arts training better.
In the real world I've been in fights and have won more than I've lost but I've used my head, feet, knees etc and also whatever was lying about. Train all you want it takes just one surprise or lucky hit to put you doon. If yer fit you can take more or run away faster.
I see boxing as being outdated and so does the world otherwise you wouldn't have all this Ultimate fighting coming out. I suggest we totally move it on and have knife fighting or swords and someday we'll have 21 st century lazer fights.
Yes we all hang around this interesting bloke for his mind and personality or was it because the boss told us too? There are more brain cells in my shit than in this picture, do these people love themselves or what?
Muhammed Ali was intelligent and handsome right? well thats what we were told, we were also told that the Kennedys and the weemen from sex in the sexy are glamourous bollocks. How smart do you have to be to convert to Islam? and besides if boxing was so good why did Ali have objections to his hefty daughter becoming one?
I looked at Ali the other day and I think I could take him, he didn't look so tough.
Its all a bit of crack at least its not you getting the shit knocked out of you but then again no one offers me 10 million to get beat up in public.
Like everything else boxers start losing and become has beens, like actors and singers and even bloggers, I used to be great you know I could have been a contender then I stopped caring so much now take me or leave me many have I don't do this for a living or I might have to put thought into my posts.
At least I have my looks and thought proces........................................ look a porn site with midgets .
Latest OBB News Up-Dates
Labels:
box of gurls
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