1000 visitors,well its a big deal for me.

Yay! let the celebrations begin, Old Knudsen's Blog has had '1000' visitors, 2 months almost to the day have people clicked on and off my site some lurking and just enjoying my brilliance and some commenting some load of old crap about me being a pedo or something (nothing has ever been proven) I just want to thank those that took the time and effort in reading and then slagging off the shite that I went to the trouble of pulling out of me arse one post shy of 100, as for you fuckers that clicked next blog I hope yer nipples start to chap and weep thick custard like pus.
There has been some interesting searches done on Blogger that has led people to me and I wonder what was going through some of these people's minds and I hope that no one connects my searches to me.

Searches for

Bren Chucky Style
Fake Old Man Balls
Ladykillers poisoned Scone
Winslet
Jude Law

and of course the now famous ' Johnny Mad Dog Adair ' that supporters of Celtic (Scottish catholic football team) took to their hearts and posted on a BBC message board, God bless their bitter wee selves.

Then you get someone in China that searches for 'fuck' , I hope I enlightened them and the people in Thailand looking for 'cunt' and getting me, I can only imagine that Foot Eater had the # 1 spot for that search. (love ya footie)

Why would someone from Aberdeen do a search for 'smelly Scotsman'? do ya not have windows? just look outside.

I don't obsess over my site meter, I don't care if you visit a site (lots) called Cumshots before you get to me but really Hadon that is a lot even for you.


The 1000 visitor was from Whittier, California, hello whoever you are please call again.

If you haven't ever commented please do so, I go easy on you for the first time, if you are fool hardy enough to comment a second time, expect the Old Knudsen charm, now fuck off and give my head peace, if I make it to 2000 I'll buy yous all a drink, yep one big drink and I'll even drink it for yous.

I Demand You Kiss My Ass.

Replying to e-mail sent from: Ambassadorknudsen@hotmail.com


Dear Ambarass a dork Nudsen, its me the Prez.
I took time out from connecting with the American people to address your list of demands about firing Rummy, apologizing for being late for the World wars and executing the Fast and the Furious folks, you make demands to me and I'll Hog tie and brand you like a female cow.

Well actually I was halfway through the first season of Desperate Housewives, ever watch it? that Eva Lungeria is one hot Tamale.

I got my posse to locate on the map the whereabouts of Scotland. I would like to visit and sample your Scotch Embassy someday so our peoples can talk and efargiate our differences and elictamate a bond of friendship.
Are you an ally with the United Kingdom of England? Are your people brown? do they have oil that needs democracy and to be free. (free oil, I'm so funny)

I like Corn its tastes good.

Rummy wanted to liberate your country (with our Stealth bombers) back to the stone age but Dick wouldn't let him.

I can't fire Rummy because hes the only one that can remember the Whitehouse alarm code.
Those World wars were not even news until we engaged the enemy.
I have the collectors edition director's cut with 4 minutes of extra stunts Fast and the Furious DVDs and I have put aside government funding (from the schools of course) to make a 4th movie, bring it on.

Rummy says you're a 'Flipping Wingnut that needs to be deleted with extreme prejudice ' but I say U R A fucking asshole , yeah I'm mailing drunk, if you can't drunken mail a fellow politiker then who can you ? if you want to send anymore lame ass demands then send them to my Gettysburg address, "screw you".



TEXAS LONGHORNS ROCK!



George Texas Walker The Man Bush, President of the World.

CUNT!

It used to be that fuck and bastard were fighting words, now they are used by Parents, Teachers and Rest home caregivers on an everyday basis.
Fuck is a highly versatile word it can be a command, compliment, insult, an act or just something bad, depending on its use.

Fit as Fuck
Strong as Fuck
Ugly as Fuck
Fat as Fuck
Tired as Fuck
Cool as Fuck
I don't give a Fuck
I'm gonna Fuck you up
Desperate for a Fuck
I Fucked yer Ma
I got Fucked
No I really got Fucked
Fuckface
Fuckwit
Fuckoff
Fuckhead
Fucked in the head
Fuckyou
Fucker
Fucksake
Fuckall
Fuck a Duck
Fuck Buddy
Fucknut
Fucking Hell
The Fucking Fucker's Fucked



Fuck has been taken over as the shock word to use, all thanks to the Bog trotting Irish who now think so little of Fuck that they teach it in schools but pronounce it 'Feck' , the current word is of course 'Cunt' not as adaptable but still shocking to non Europeans , the Irish have even named an airline after the word, 'Cunnilingus' , this word will soon lose its power as the soft English have taken to using it, and who wants anything after they have used it? .

In polite circles the word Cunt is pronounced Cont but thats only by the Mucksavages as they are more readily acceptable of swear words coming into everyday use than other cultures.

Bring back 'Fuck' if you use 'cunt' with any other word it just becomes a limp insult, 'cunt face', yeah yeah, cunt on its own is fine but you can't beat a good Fuck, I dare anyone to say you can't beat a good fuck, but if you beat a good cunt you won't get a Fuck and you'd be Fucked but not really.

Real men and Old Knudsen say Fuck, he will say Cunt only after too much exposure to the lesser races.

I could of went for a picture of Bush as his name is also a name for a cunt but no, I went for another universally known Cunt Donald Rumsfeld, I'm sure the men and women fighting the sand savages would agree, who wants a boss that doesn't give a shit about his workers? give him a M 14 and send him out to patrol in an unarmoured Hummer.

Bush stood by Michael Brown of Fema and said what a good job he was doing with New Orleans and he is doing the same with Don, if you voted for Bush the first time, get someone to punch you in the back of the head, if you voted for him the second time just kill yourself, then again there wasn't much choice.

Old Knudsen demands the resignation of Rumsfeld or his sacking, and an apology for being late for 2 World Wars, and those responsible for not one but three Fast and the Furious films to be executed, I will await your answer Bush, you have 10 of your Earth minutes to decide.




Rumsfeld is a Cunt, but Hitler was a Fucker.

Hitler was also a junkie that farted alot,
his favourite word was 'Cunt'.

To quote his famous speech at Leipzig, "Ich bin ein Cunt!, ya das ist gute".

He aspired to be a Cunt as fucker is worse but he wasn't fooling anyone, well
except the nation of Germany and Neville Chamberlain.

If Hitler got his german grammar fucked up give him a break, he was from Austria, G'day mate.

Sean Penn, two four letter words.

Old Knudsen doesn't make threats, he makes promises, heres your Sean fucking wank dog Penn post--------as promised, who cares if you wanted it or not? read it then fuck off.
Its been said that Sean Penn is one of the most talented actors of his generation, well Old Knudsen never said it, I can't stand the man, he gives off an air like hes so serious and intense every hour of the day, when I see that wee shite I just want to make a load of jokes at his expense that hes not going to get so he'll end up getting angry and trashes his hotel room because hes not as smart as he thinks he is, yeah Mr Penn intense that.
He made his feature debut in the 1981 film Taps, I actually like that one, it was the energetic Tom Cruise that made it for me, what ever happened to him? oh yeah, brain washing.

I remember in the mid 80's the papers always had pictures of an angry Penn charging the Paparazzi and punching them to the ground, when was the last time you saw a photographer hit back? they may be annoying but lay of the coke Bullyboy.
Back then Madonna was hot, and as soon as she was tainted with the festering lice ridden cock of Mr Penn she lost her sex appeal and that movie Shanghai Surprise didn't help, how many shit films will it take Madonna? you are crap! no talented actor husband or talented director husband will change that.

Casualties of war was a good one, not because of Penn, but Michael J Fox and the whole scary situation they were in, Penn does excel at playing thoroughly unlikable characters, maybe a little too well, is it all acting?
What about that piece of necrotic tissue 'We're no Angels' ? Penn and De Niro were trying too see who could do the most silliest faces in a most unfunny comedy, my blog is funnier and this blog is shite, I'm not even going to mention 'I am Sam' ok well maybe I will, how many people went to see it just to laugh at a tard? nothing wrong with that, what other reason would God put them here but for us to laugh at?
I don't care about Mystic river, if Clint Eastwood has anything to do with a movie, he had better have a tough cop with an over powerful handgun or he can fuck off, oh and sound bites, "do ya feel lucky punk?"
21 grams was kinda depressing, but Old Knudsen did notice that Penn totally put Naomi Watts' erect nipple into his mouth, now that's what I call talented acting, I can picture Penn all intense talking over the scene " you know Naomi, I think it would totally help the scene if you let me suck your nipples ride you hard and then I give you a Dirty Sanchez"
When New Orleans got some water damage due to being built in a really stupid place the world was asking,"where is Sean Penn? he'll save those poor uneducated barely able to speak the English language people" , Sean, being intense got a boat and a shotgun (to shoot Quails I suppose) and motored around pulling folks out of the water, I'm sure he could of afforded 10 boats or one really big one and a helicopter, "what do you know Old Knudsen? you weren't there" screams Mr Penn, no I wasn't, I was sitting in Fema HQ wondering if the alarm bell meant an emergency or its lunchtime, I voted for lunch.

Old Knudsen likes to sit up late and watch the Oscars, no Sammy, that doesn't mean I'm Gay, did you see that dress kate Winslet was wearing? Vera Wang sure out did herself, anyway when Chris Rock decided to pitch all the jokes at Johnny black fellow forgetting its the Jews that run things he made a comment about Jude Law, to paraphrase, "who is this Jude Law? hes been in everything and comments on all the posts" no wait that's Kieran, anyway, it was an amusing joke, unless you're a stuck up serious actor, Sean Penn came on next and said, "Jude law is a fine and talented actor that's who he is" , c'mon, grow a sense of humour, Kieran took it in good spirit, well except for those nasty e-mails but that was the crayons talking.
I recently read an article about Jude Law, he took the comment that Rock made and formed a grudge that he still holds, well Mr Nanny, you 're a dopey cunt , being pretty won't help you, if you're a total wanker.
Expect to read about Jude Law in the next 18 months.

Just to finish Sean Penn off, I would like to see if the sword is mightier than the Penn, a cage match, him and me, I know he reads this Blog, I get the sword as I'm just and old feeble man with one leg and hemorrhoids.

Inscrutable.

Well done Mr Knudsen, a fine post, but when we meet next time, I shall kill you.

Dictator Time.

Dictators for some reason get a very bad reputation , some call them cruel, evil and mad, well who doesn't get called that from time to time? I was watching the news, it had an interview with the president of Syria, a Dr Bashar Al Assad, he did in no way look like Hitler, Mussolini, Franco or Idi Amin , the man looked like a pencil necked dork, he was very sensible and well spoken, not condemning any one nation by name just condemning those who are occupying Muslim countries, this guy is an Eye Doctor, and doesn't really fit in with a country the yanks use to scare prisoners with, "tell us what we need to know or we'll send you to Syria and they'll torture it out of you".
Dr Assad , you don't scare Old Knudsen, I've been to the NHS I know what fear is, you can't even grow a real moustache, a dictator that has a pathetic excuse for a moustache is to be mocked.

In this picture he looks like something out of 'Allo Allo'.







Congratulations Kim Jong Ill, I know you had a little trouble getting your Taepo Dong missile up in the past, now you've got the world attention you've been craving, you crazy little Asian midget Elvis you, everyone is scared shitless, all having nukes means is that you can blow things up (which is cool) threaten to blow things up for more foreign aid (which is cunning) and you won't get invaded by America (which is trendy) lets give every crazy as fuck country the nuke and get this party started.


This is Lil Kim doing his 'Apocalypse chow' impression, "I wanted a menu and for my sins they gave me one".

Ireland, Wet And Dirty, Just Like My Gunties.

There are none better at slagging off Ireland and the Irish than the Irish themselves, its a part of Celtic culture, you slagg someone off and they return the compliment, the first to lose their temper or get flustered or can't think of a reply loses, theres none more quick witted than a celt,(Welsh don't and can't count) we'll call you all the names of the day and when you go off to sulk and cry we'll be baffled, didn't they see the glint in my eye? calling someone you are friendly with a wanker or a ballbag is totally acceptable, of course if you don't know them prepare to get decked.
I've decided to let some dead and some not as much dead Irish people do the work for a change, heres some quotes that are true today as they were whenever they were thought of.
Now Old Knudsen isn't going soft on the Mucksavages, I am well aware that being Scottish I share some Bogtrotter blood though a lot of it has come out in my shit recently (Blog = shit with blood) so I am well qualified to taunt the Fenian Fuckers until the cows come home.




Samuel Beckett

My advice to you concerning applause is this: enjoy it but never quite believe it.

Dublin university contains the cream of Ireland: Rich and thick.

I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them.


George Bernard Shaw

I showed my appreciation of my native land in the usual Irish way: by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could.

An Englishman does everything on principle: he fights you on patriotic principles; he robs you on business principles; he enslaves you on imperial principles.

Put an Irishman on the spit and you can always get another Irishman to turn him.

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen
naked women to get to a bottle of stout. Anonymous

For an Irishman, talking is a dance. Deborah Love

My one claim to originality among Irishmen is that I have never made a speech. George Moore

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. Gerald Kersh

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. Harold Nicolson

The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent. Hugh Leonard

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. James Stephens

Maybe it's bred in the bone, but the sound of pipes is a little bit of heaven to some of us. Nancy O'Keeefe

I'm troubled, I'm dissatisfied. I'm Irish. Marianne Moore