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Friday, February 2, 2007

The Sickest Nation On Earth.


Any regular reader of Old Bitter Balls (I know I have one, thanks mother) knows that I constantly watch my shite meter to see what searches turn up . By putting the words, pedo, fisting and hot midget sex into post titles I have turned up in some very interesting results. I hope I've frustrated the perverts and wasted their time, don't bother to say you typed in pedo by accident or you're researching a book you're a sick fucker and the most valid reason for the death penalty I can think of, remember lefties if you are against the death penalty then you must be for pedos and rapists, shame on you too.
I have collected numbers of visitors and from what countries that search for pedo. I do this with the aim to find the sickest most perverted nation on Earth. Do not speak to me of statistics and percentages this reckoning system is the Old Knudsen tallyman method that has been used for thousands of years in countries you can't pronounce. My ruling on this is final.

The sickest, most perverted nation on Earth followed by it's friends is.

1) Germany.......... 20
2) USA..........15
3) Poland..........5
4) Netherlands..........4
5) France..........4
6) UK................4
7) India..........3
8) Australia..........3
9) Canada.......... 3
10) Russia..........2
11) Italy..........2
12) Czech Republic..........1
13) Singapore.........1
14) Austria..........1
15) Brazil..........1
16) Israel..........1
17) Belgium..........1
18) Hungry..........1
19) Finland..........1
20) Norway..........1
21) S.Africa..........1
22) Ireland..........1
23) Bosnia..........1
24) Colombia..........1
25) Japan..........1
26) Ukraine..........1
27) New Zealand..........1
28) Luxemburg.............1

No big shocks here, this is only from the start of this year. If yer country isn't on this list then rest in the fact they yer pedos are too dumb to even use computers.

Germany, home of the sick pedo loving bastards, not content with starting two world wars they like to diddle kids, with their large minging beers, uptight ways and crazy gibberish that spews out of their mouths always sounding angry, shame on you Germany if only Bomber Harris had the nuke.

Get Yer Coat You've Pulled.

Pop princess Kylie Minogue has separated from her boyfriend French actor Olivier Martinez .
The separation was mutual and they remain close friends, that means fuck buddies to you.
He may had helped her through her recent time with the cancer and all but the Frenchie wasn't enough for her, no offense to any Frenchies out there but c'mon you fuck with yer face and fight with yer feet, plus the smell of garlic all the time and the constant flies are quite annoying, enjoy smoking in the cafes while the law still lets you because my cheese eating surrender monkey friends yer time is up . (no public smoking allowed)
Kylie was said to have an itch the froggie couldn't scratch, no not athletes foot its an expression for satisfying fornication, it was discovered by a source close to her that she was full of the horn and wanted a real man who could disgust, excite and make her laugh all at the same time oh and he should stink of piss, hmmm I wonder if anyone around here fits that bill.
Dive, spice rack owning guitar player ?..............no.
Rich, on the rebound coffee whore ?..................no.
Old Knudsen, base and vile brabbler ?................could be.

Long John Knudsen number one super guy, Long John Knudsen quicker than the human eye.......it says quick, not premature and what do I care ? at least I cum.

Hes got the style of a movie star and a Blog that just won't stop when the going gets tough he says fuck a lot and might call you a slut, YA!

I'm not going to explain Hong Kong Phooey to yous. I'm just wondering why would a Police station hire a talking dog as a janitor? maybe they ordered a bomb sniffing dog and got a bum sniffing dog by mistake so they put him to work mopping floors and nuzzling crotches, I like getting my crotch nuzzled but you'd have to have no sense of smell to do it, do I know anyone like that?

Dive, spice rack owning gutiar player cum on doon the crotch is right.

Did She get Her Oats?















Rich over at Beantown caffe suggested there is a resemblance between her gracious majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the Quaker Oats fella, well ok there very well may be but Rich you are indeed a cunt for pointing it out and will go on my ever growing list of anti-royals that I must cut and paste from their mortal existence.
If the Queen is so rich why can she not afford a good dentist?

Sunni And Shia.

Sunni and Shia, even though one is dead they still can't get along.



Emile Lahoud the President of Lebanon has had a long military career in which he attained the rank of general and got an ass load of medals. He has trained in the Uk and in the States so its not surprising he has the backing of the West, Saudi Arabia and Israel against those Hezbollah cunts, he has every right to say,"I got Jew babe".

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Its Groundhog Day.......Again.

Scary big cunts those beavers.

Formerly a Celtic ritual then taken by the Romans and called hedgehog day and then given a ghey name by the Christians ,Candlemas .
Started in America about 1841 in Pennsylvania on February 2nd according to the Germans the Groundhog which is a large fat rat thing looks out from it's den or pad and if it sees it's own shadow or a hungry German with an erection it pops back in for another 6 weeks for a nap, sort of like a snooze button, if its cloudy he comes out and the weather will be moderate
People know me as an animal lover and righter of injustices and so on, those poor wee fat rats, for years they are kept in a box only to be shown the light of day once a year or when a big German wants to prove himself.
Free Dunkirk Dave ,Punxsutawney Phil and Buckeye Chuck, free the groundhog three, are they related to Beaver? then I could shout "free the beaver".


Groundhog day is one of my favourites films.

Good King Billy Had A 10 Foot Willy.

Big Ian preaching brimstone and hell

The Reverend Ian Paisley the great Ulster protestant leader and God's representative on earth and Martin Mc Guinness the ex IRA leader and now a politician will share power (in theory) and govern Northern Ireland with the aim to bring peace to that troubled land.
Big Ian or alien Paisley as he is known will be the boss and Mc Guinness or murdering terrorist scumbag as he is known will be his deputy, but with Ian being 80 has anyone given thought to who will take over when he carks it? I suspect a clever Sinn Fein ploy to gain power, though 'clever Sinn Fein ploy' would be an oxymoron.
Here is some dialog that may occur on their first day at work.

Ian: "Mc Guinness!"

Martin: "Wa do ya want cunty balls?"

Ian: "tea! two sugars and four jaffa cakes because they are orange"

Martin: "you're not the boss of me ya old cunt and this celtic tiger ate yer jaffas"

Ian: "for fuck sake and damn yer black soul, get me some Ginger nuts because they are sort of orange "

Martin: " If I was ever to get you tea I'd serve you a Viscount biscuit as it is wrapped in green foil"

Ian: "if you were ever to get me tea I would refuse it until you are prepared to serve me orange snacks, I say NO!"

Martin: "I say you're senile so suck my Fenian cock".


The world of Norn Iron politics, doesn't make the Yanks look ridiculous and so uncivilised?


Mc Guinness looking staunchly defiant and bitter.


Whats the difference between an orange and an apple?

You can't get an Apple bastard.

Good King Billy Had A 10 Foot Willy.

Big Ian preaching brimstone and hell

The Reverend Ian Paisley the great Ulster protestant leader and God's representative on earth and Martin Mc Guinness the ex IRA leader and now a politician will share power (in theory) and govern Northern Ireland with the aim to bring peace to that troubled land.
Big Ian or alien Paisley as he is known will be the boss and Mc Guinness or murdering terrorist scumbag as he is known will be his deputy, but with Ian being 80 has anyone given thought to who will take over when he carks it? I suspect a clever Sinn Fein ploy to gain power, though 'clever Sinn Fein ploy' would be an oxymoron.
Here is some dialog that may occur on their first day at work.

Ian: "Mc Guinness!"

Martin: "Wa do ya want cunty balls?"

Ian: "tea! two sugars and four jaffa cakes because they are orange"

Martin: "you're not the boss of me ya old cunt and this celtic tiger ate yer jaffas"

Ian: "for fuck sake and damn yer black soul, get me some Ginger nuts because they are sort of orange "

Martin: " If I was ever to get you tea I'd serve you a Viscount biscuit as it is wrapped in green foil"

Ian: "if you were ever to get me tea I would refuse it until you are prepared to serve me orange snacks, I say NO!"

Martin: "I say you're senile so suck my Fenian cock".


The world of Norn Iron politics, doesn't make the Yanks look ridiculous and so uncivilised?


Mc Guinness looking staunchly defiant and bitter.


Whats the difference between an orange and an apple?

You can't get an Apple bastard.

 
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