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Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Happy Families
I don't actually have a post for today. Why you may ask yerselves? or you'll just say, "so fuck" and click on some inferior blog which is any other blog I just want to celebrate 'The Family' no not the Mafia but speaking of which when someone mentioned Canada to Al Capone he said, "What street is that on?" its true I was there I was disguised as a broad in order to assassinate him.It all went badly we had a few drinks and I gave him the syphilis that killed him ......... so I killed him-ish but didn't get fucking paid I don't wanna talk about it.
The family which is a man and a woman and some kids is a sacred institution, none of that new age shite with gheys or single mothers looking after kids thats just crazy. Jeffery Dahmer and Ted Bundy came from traditional families and they went on to becum famous hoosehold names.
Obama came from a single parent and look where that poor sod ended up, on a sinking ship with the rats fleeing back to Mexico.
My logic and reason is impeccable you can argue but you'd be wrong.
I have known Brad and Angie separately for years and was so happy when he dumped that Aniston slag, she never liked me a secret leezer probably.
I do find it flattering that the Bradster is trying to copy me and has even put a flat cap onto his child.
Lovely looking children by the way I was just all too happy to help out, I um mean by baby sitting of course.
Oh Angie they never learned the word 'Cunt' from me it was no doubt from one of those savages you adopted, dirty children.
Well I'm off to watch Marley and me. Hahahahaha only kidding Brad in case anyone doesn't know the dog dies in the end, it gets rabies and is shot don't feel bad about it Owen Wilson looks through its kennel and finds a ton of puppy porn, turns out Marley was a pedo.
I give it 2 thumbs up, no really if yer dog is a pedo sticking yer thumbs up its hole is the only way to cure it, or is that how to stop a bear attack?
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Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Lovely Puppy Post
From the Telegraph
Snowy, a Jack Russell terrier, was born into a litter of six and then sold to new owners who gave her back when they realized she was deaf .
Passed from home to home and snubbed by her littermates, she became shy, withdrawn and would cut herself to get attention .
She was handed over to staff at the Dogs Trust Salisbury Shelter in the U.K., they found that she was actually very intelligent and soon was responding to a series of hand gestures meaning sit, stay and walk . "Snowy is very bright and learned remarkably quickly, so she's picked up half a dozen commands already," said trainer Leslie Carley. "When she first came in she didn't have a clue what was going on and would chase around causing trouble."
Some of the signals Snowy now knows include "Down" (point to the floor then flatten hand and move downward parallel to the ground), "Walk" (rotate fists), and "Relax and be quiet" (put index finger to lips). She is expected to add new signs to her doggie vocabulary in the coming weeks, and staff are hopeful that they will be able to find Snowy a home due to her newfound obedience.
If you want a trendy designer deaf dog click here
I feel dirty after that post. I have points and questions about this. When the dog barks does it bark funny like the way deaf people talk funny? No offense to any deaf people reading this, can deaf people read? I've heard stories about how some deaf folk don't want treatment to enable them to hear because they don't think there is anything wrong with them. Very fucking dumb if you ask me, what are yer ears for then? not for holding yer glasses on as being near or far sighted is natural no wonder Snowy was told to fuck off by her litter.
When yer deaf dog is barking away you'd have to throw a stone at it as it couldn't hear yer yelling, maybe one of those electric shock collars with a remote. For anyone looking to be the next Mrs Old Knudsen I must warn you that wearing one of those collars is in the prenuptial agreement.
Sign language my arse, if its so fucking smart it can get a job. I'd teach it sign language with a rolled up copy of the Telegraph :::whack::: this is a sign to stop shitting in the hoose :::whack::: this is a sign to stop wanting fed everyday :::whack::: and this is for the Queen, what a lovely woman she is.
I've heard about blind dogs or all seeing eye dogs which sounds far-fetched and mystical but not deaf dogs thats taking the piss, next there will be fat dogs riding power scooters and dogs saying they only bit the Postman because they are Bi-polar or "What slipper? I have no recollection of any such event."
There is an expression, " The more I meet people the more I like my dog" or is it kick my dog? anyway it was a Yank President so don't believe it. If dogs are becuming more like people then I have no use for them.
I don't want a dog e-mailing me saying it refuses to lick peanut butter off me balls due to the semonella scare.
Useless Information:
Mutt and Jeff is rhyming slang for deaf so is Corned Beef but you have to be from my part of the world as you pronouce it 'Deef'.
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Snowy, a Jack Russell terrier, was born into a litter of six and then sold to new owners who gave her back when they realized she was deaf .Passed from home to home and snubbed by her littermates, she became shy, withdrawn and would cut herself to get attention .
She was handed over to staff at the Dogs Trust Salisbury Shelter in the U.K., they found that she was actually very intelligent and soon was responding to a series of hand gestures meaning sit, stay and walk . "Snowy is very bright and learned remarkably quickly, so she's picked up half a dozen commands already," said trainer Leslie Carley. "When she first came in she didn't have a clue what was going on and would chase around causing trouble."
Some of the signals Snowy now knows include "Down" (point to the floor then flatten hand and move downward parallel to the ground), "Walk" (rotate fists), and "Relax and be quiet" (put index finger to lips). She is expected to add new signs to her doggie vocabulary in the coming weeks, and staff are hopeful that they will be able to find Snowy a home due to her newfound obedience.
If you want a trendy designer deaf dog click here
I feel dirty after that post. I have points and questions about this. When the dog barks does it bark funny like the way deaf people talk funny? No offense to any deaf people reading this, can deaf people read? I've heard stories about how some deaf folk don't want treatment to enable them to hear because they don't think there is anything wrong with them. Very fucking dumb if you ask me, what are yer ears for then? not for holding yer glasses on as being near or far sighted is natural no wonder Snowy was told to fuck off by her litter.When yer deaf dog is barking away you'd have to throw a stone at it as it couldn't hear yer yelling, maybe one of those electric shock collars with a remote. For anyone looking to be the next Mrs Old Knudsen I must warn you that wearing one of those collars is in the prenuptial agreement.
Sign language my arse, if its so fucking smart it can get a job. I'd teach it sign language with a rolled up copy of the Telegraph :::whack::: this is a sign to stop shitting in the hoose :::whack::: this is a sign to stop wanting fed everyday :::whack::: and this is for the Queen, what a lovely woman she is.
I've heard about blind dogs or all seeing eye dogs which sounds far-fetched and mystical but not deaf dogs thats taking the piss, next there will be fat dogs riding power scooters and dogs saying they only bit the Postman because they are Bi-polar or "What slipper? I have no recollection of any such event."
There is an expression, " The more I meet people the more I like my dog" or is it kick my dog? anyway it was a Yank President so don't believe it. If dogs are becuming more like people then I have no use for them.
I don't want a dog e-mailing me saying it refuses to lick peanut butter off me balls due to the semonella scare.
Useless Information:
Mutt and Jeff is rhyming slang for deaf so is Corned Beef but you have to be from my part of the world as you pronouce it 'Deef'.
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Two Faced Cunt
AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! feel my rage/pain/discomfort.
The Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland Martin McGuinness launched a strong attack on politicians from the Republic of Ireland who said that people traveling to Northern Ireland to shop were being "unpatriotic".
Quick lesson in geography for the Americans. The Republic of Ireland is Ireland actual, full of Irish people who didn't fight against the Nazis in WW II because then they would have to side with the Brits who they hated more than Nazis........................ Many brave Fenians joined up on their own to fight the Nazis.
There is a border that separates the Republic (The South which is Irish ) and Ulster (The North which is British) Northern Ireland is a part of the UK and has the Queen on its money. They did fight against the Nazis thus earning them health care and Welfare like the rest of Great Britain.
McGuinness said:
"I think it is very patriotic for anybody born on the island of Ireland to shop on the island of Ireland,"
also:
also:
"There were a number of tremendous evils in our society, one is racism, the other is sectarianism and I think an evil also is partitionism".
"What we need to recognise is that there is a free will of the people," he added.
The reason why people are crossing the border is because shops are doing a Pound sterling = a crappy Euro in order to entice shoppers. All about value.
The reason why people are crossing the border is because shops are doing a Pound sterling = a crappy Euro in order to entice shoppers. All about value.
The Taoiseach, Brian Cowen, said "We live in an island and people will make their choices, the important thing is that we provide best possible value for money and deal with the cost issues that arise."
Yes I said 'Taoiseach' which means in gheylick (head bogtrotter) so feel free to nominate me for best use of the Irish lingo in the Irish Blog awards.
Yes his surname is of Scottish origin don't think I didn't notice that.
Are you wondering why I'm annoyed yet?
The shithead on the right at an IRA funeral.McGuinness joined the IRA in 1970 aged 20 , which is the 'Irish Repubician Army' a terrorist group as the real Irish army are in no way aggressive and don't even have weapons, pointed wooden sticks don't count.
By the start of 1972, he was second-in-command of the IRA in Londonderry.
He was convicted in 1973, after being caught with a car containing 250 lb (113 kg) of explosives and nearly 5,000 rounds of ammunition and was sentenced to six months imprisonment.By the start of 1972, he was second-in-command of the IRA in Londonderry.
In the court he declared his membership of the IRA "We hav e fought against the killing of our people... I am a member of Óglaigh na hÉireann and very, very proud of it ."
There more gheylick, that means 'Warriors of Ireland' which is funny because they are cowardly, murdering terrorist scum, that should be worth the most bitter nomination.
So he doesn't like racism and sectarianism huh? two of the things the IRA have stood for and killed for.
Partitionism? killing yer own people didn't really bring yer cause together did it? even Ted Kennedy eventually snubbed you over it when public opinion about the brave IRA freedom fighters changed and they were seen as the scum they are. Its bad when a Kennedy snubs the Irish.
The free will of the people? For years all the people wanted was peace but no the terrorists on both the Catholic and the Protestant side wouldn't let them as they had their own agendas. In 1998 they even voted for peace.
Ach it makes me mad the way some people just change with the wind and say whatever it takes but really think something else.
You may be a part of the government now Mr McGuinness, taking yer lunch money from the British but on a short leash you'll always be .............. I'm watching you.
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