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Showing posts with label A fucking legend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A fucking legend. Show all posts

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Day In The Un-Dead Life

My cock still gets recognised even after all these years.

I like to share which is why so many of you have been given the clap and other maladies so here is a day in the undead life of Old Knudsen for ya.

For a change I woke up early I hardly ever see 10 am but for some reason Mexicans drive about blaring polka music out their windows. Fuck the Germans have so much to answer for, nothing good ever came out of Germany.
Polka music is so vastly un-cool even an old git like me knows this but if you watch Latino TV you'll see they are un-cool, it reminds me a bit of the tacky French TV shows I used to watch when I lived there.

I only watch Latino TV because they always have hot Latinas in skimpy outfits and I watch and think how degrading it is to weemen, degrading but fine wanking material.
I fried up some eggs and bacon and as I ate it I cursed it as bread and bacon are stinking over here, how can you fuck up bacon and bread?

I once read its healthy to have a glass of red wine a day so I knocked back a 6 pack of Newcastle brown ale to be extra healthy.

I feed and watered the bloke in the garage and told him he wasn't getting out until he gives me his bank pin number, that's a lie cos that fucker isn't going anywhere, such a big cuntry and so many hiding places for bodies I love it.

I staggered out into the hot midday sun, it wasn't as hot as the last couple of days only about 90 °F so I walked to the shops for some groceries as I'll probably be too drunk to think on my birthday its an excuse to drink not that I need one.

One of the staff was sitting on his arse using goof off on some plastic bins that contained dried out Mexican food. A gurl staffer came over and they started to talk, I eyed up the breasts in the meat section and listened.

The guy became very camp and animated, totally ghey, "This really sucks I've been at this for half an hour already."
The gurl who was a young Latina with Amy Winehoose eye make-up said, " Did Brian make you do this? that sucks."

She saw me and decided to hang about and do busy work making eye contact now and again with me, chicks dig the cap what can I say? she came up behind me and put her phone number into my trouser pocket and said, "if you want me to cook yer meat give me a call." Well that's how I remember it.

Before I left I told the guy he was lucky he didn't have a real job, I told him how I dug ditches for 40 years man and boy for tup-pence a week and the only time I got to sit doon on the job was when Frankie the foreman broke my legs for not digging fast enough, young people make me sick ................. except the hot ones.


I went into a charity shop called Goodwill to see if they had anything good and I saw the book pictured above.
I collect Buddha figures for good luck well more of an OCD thing I suspect its a hold over from my brain washing when I worked for the company and got this big white one, someday I may share my collection with you.

The cashier was a young Latina with perfect nails a nose stud and an attitude of being better than everyone else, she didn't even eye me up, must have been a leezer.

I got home and found I wouldn't be getting that pin number, maybe I should have cracked open a window in the garage or something. I got a pack of Rolling rock and watched the deadliest catch for 3 hours then at 2 am I made some chips ah living the dream.




Wednesday, December 19, 2007

All Yer Wants And Desires

If not then yer just a picky cunt

I was going to put up a post about the importance of fossil fuels and the only problem I have is that when you go to fill up yer coal bucket you end up with black snotters but then I remembered the whining, "too many words, where are the hotties?" or "post naked men pictures" so here it is, the ultimate post for all of you cunts that only want dirty pictures cos words hurt yer brains, maybe you lot should start blogs so you can post said pics, just an idea. I think I have covered all of my 3 reader's tastes if not and if you have any complains at the end of this I shall give up blogging, enjoy.

Don't call old Duncan here a pervert, hes just doing what you wish you had the guts to do, the man is sexually free.

Where would the world be without midget sex?


I never buy off vendors in the street, those fuckers never wash their hands. Do you think this lad's name is calvin? his ma must of wrote that on so he wouldn't lose them.


Here have some violence against Andre Agassi the tennis twat.

This is for all you insertionists out there. I remember when milk was delivered to yer door in bottles not up yer arse from a carton.

Something to get you Knudsenites out there warmed up.

For you multi-taskers, she has my admiration.

Amputee sex, did I mention that I only have one leg? once you have a one legged man you never go back.

For you Japophiles, they really do all look the same to me. Two nukes didn't do her any harm so gurn up.


A bit of Fenian cocksucking for MJ, you can imagine the old fella about to say, "remember that chap who used to run the bookies? what was that mans name? John? Jack? something 'J' anyway he was married to etc etc etc." until she says, "Da shut the fuck up." I told you they were Fenians.


For those a little unsure of themselves.


Cheerleaders, Hollywood has taught me to admire cheerleaders. "Goooooooooooooooooooo Hot-pants!"


Yer grandad before the stroke. He likes a nice stroke.


Those black fellas just want to spank our white weemen and then shove their huge cocks into them, its disgusting I tell you.


For you animal lovers, I won't say what sicko sent me this but it was one of you.


Spiderman Spiderman does whatever a spider can except spin webs as only females spin webs.


Don't worry folks its only CIA interrogation, its not torture because that would be wrong.

For those who like to pack a lunch, the egg and onion sandwiches went in a treat.


Ah fake hard Hollywood bodies, this is what we should all try to look like or so I'm told.

This looks more creepy than sexy, whats with the gloves and the mirror? does she understand mirrors?

Another picture for the ladies, Right said Fred on their cum back tour.

For the Fag-hags who like small packages.


For the minute men, they are in yer country doing the jobs twice as fast for half the money that you are too fat and lazy to do so whats yer problem? Put yerselves in their shoes.


Does this inflated crotch make me look ghey?

For those who like Gladiator films etc, "This is Sparta!"

 
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