The Latest Weapon Against Terrorists.

Grow up ya wee fuckers, this is serious military technology.

Us troops in Iraq have impressed me with their ingenuity. when they enter a room to be cleared (for booby traps etc) they spray silly string to detect trip wires, this string can shoot up to 10 feet and if it hits the wires it hangs on them showing them up, if none are there it falls to the floor.
Up until now the Insurgents have thought that yanks have been having parties all over Iraq, another reason to hate them in their books.
The military do not discuss tactics like this in public, don't worry, I'm no Geraldo giving away secrets as this is no public knowledge, as is medics using tampons to plug bullet holes and using prisoners to clear minefields, only kidding about that last one as that would be wrong ---- or would it ?

And Iran, Iran So Far Away.

This is a depiction of the Prophet Mohammed, did he indeed take it up the bun? did he like it filled with cream as is claimed ? we shall see.

Iran has decided to hold a conference of 67 scholars from 30 countries to examine the claim that the nazi Holocaust that killed 6 million Jews did actually happen or not.
The President of Iran, the ever rational Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has said in the past, that the Holocaust was either exaggerated or an out right myth and has had no answers to his questions about it.
Deputy foreign minister Manouchehr Mohammadi held a press conference to explain that Iran were not denying the crimes of Hitler and because Iran had nothing to do with it (supposedly) they are an impartial judge.
Mohammadi dismissed the notion that the seminar could promote anti-Semitism by saying that anti-Semitism was a "Western Phenomenon" and that Iran had a population of 25,000 Jews. Who I'm sure feel very loved since their president called for Israel to be wiped from the face of the Earth in a very non anti-Semitic way.
Look everyone I know a Jew I mustn't be anti-Semitic, look we have 25,000 in our labour, er I mean holiday camps.
I'm sure there are 30 countries that hates Israel, and if you just hate Israel for the sake of it and not because of their religion then that's fine you are totally impartial.

We here at Old Bitter Balls have decided based on the kind of logic that Iran uses to examine the claims that the Prophet Mohamed took it up the shitter, there is nothing wrong with this, I mean who hasn't either had it done to them or have used the old spam javelin to pack some fudge? you Catholics know what I mean. I myself had a summer job packing fudge over in San Francisco.
We are in no way anti Iranian, Muslim or any other kind of sand savage but we do think that idiot religious fanatics should be put to death. I'm sure we can get 67 scholars (at least 34 will be Christian) so it will be totally impartial.

I was watching the BBC news, I know why do I do it to myself, their reporting is becoming so wishy washy touchy feely, they had the reporter with her head covered in some sexist barbaric way with a head scarf and she was talking to some Iranian students about how the world views Iran, the question was about seeing Iranians chant "death to America" the two gurls that answered were ever so unconvincing " when we say that we don't mean we want to hurt the people, we mean that because we have suffered so long with war that we are against American policies".

That's exactly what I was thinking as they were chanting "death to America " and burning flags , Fuck off! pull the other leg, its got bells on it.

Then the reporter asked about how the media portray Iranians, a chubby lad (whose head was without any cover because men rock) jumped in to answer," its not fair how they show us to the world, they should show everything" he said raising his voice and angrily stabbing his finger at the desk, you just know he went out and burned a flag afterwards.

I wasn't fooled by these lifeless drones. Yes Muslims and Christians can be stupid crazy fuckers and when the majority of them get into power rational thought goes out the window and they go to war on the corrupted teachings of blokes that couldn't even tie shoelaces or use toilet paper. (Mohammed, Jesus, Bush etc)

If I didn't insult any Muslim whackjob extremists with the first picture or they just didn't get it, heres another, I figure I'll get my head cut off for being an infidel anyway so what the fuck?

Isn't He Just Perfect :::sighs:::

Showing that George cares about the Africans half way across the world, he put his money where their mouths are and had his friend and companion of 18 years Max sliced and packed and sent to Africa where hopefully some non Muslims will appreciate him, what a guy, good luck on your movie The Good Shepherd, or German or German Shepherd , the one that they are saying is boring, no not Syrian, sure that was long and slow paced but it had some nice scenes but way too over hyped and you got an Oscar to make up for not getting the best Director but any way good luck.

2nd July 1961 Hemingway Commits Suicide.

As everyone knows Lorry drivers (truck drivers US) are all Serial killers, the perfect job for that sort of business. I always pictured the protagonist of this 1961 Dion song The Wanderer as a serial killing driver rather than just a dirty dick manwhore, observe the following changes.


Oh well I'm the type of guy who will never settle down,
Where pretty girls are well you know that I'm around
I kiss 'em and I kill 'em cause to me they're all the same
I cut 'em and dismember 'em they don't even know my name
They call me the serial , yeah I'm a serial,I go around around around around

Well there's Moe on my left and Mary on my right,
And Janie is the girl well that I'll be with tonight,
And when she ask me which one I love the best,
I tear open my shirt and I show MUM on my chest,
'Cause I'm a serial, yeah I'm a serial I roam around around around around hmmm

Well I roam from town to town,
I go through life without a care,
And I'm happy dressed as a clown,
With my rope and my chainsaw, but I'm goin' nowhere.

Yeah I'm the type of guy that likes to roam around
I'm never in one place I roam from town to town
And when I find myself fallin' for some girl
I put her right in that car of mine, and bury her in the woods
And I'm a serial, yeah I'm a serial I roam around around around around hmmm

Cause I'm a serial, yeah a serialI roam around around around around



The favourite expression used by weather men/weemen seems to be 'mixed bag' , thats what this post is. I cannot get over the fact that I used the word 'protagonist' what a twat I am.

Get In Ma Pot Belly.

We here at Old Bitter Balls share the deep sorrow felt by honourary Bitter Balls George Clooney at the loss of his long time partner Max the Potbellied Pig.

Max was 18 years old which is old for a pig and died of natural causes while george was out promoting his latest film The Good German which is about a boys love for his pet, a German shepherd named Schwein (pig) , ironic really.

Max was almost 300 lbs and due to the large turnout of mourners is only expected to be mourned for, for about a week, for directions to the funneral home where Max will be cremated until his skin is nice and crispy just follow yer nose.

In happier bad hair days, 1989.

In Memory Of Mr Clifford. RIP

Happy Irish Day

Heres a picture quickly squeezed in for my Happy Irish Day, its the most suggestive pic of Andrea Corr I could find, worked for me.