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Saturday, January 31, 2009

Who Is On The First Lady, No What Is On The First Lady

I'm no into conspiracies but when I heard all the talk about Obama not really being president because first he said the wrong words and then he said the oath without a bible I investigated.

Take a look at the first photo, it looks like he is doing the Islamic sign for Satan with his right hand and his left hovers over the good book. The rumours about him not being able to touch a bible because it burns him may very well be true.

What is Roberts looking at and what is he listening too?


Take the same photo through a high spectrum ultra cunty lens and you see that Roberts looks more like Dr Cheney evil mastermind and Quail hater.

Obama's hand is yet again not touching the Bible and now his fingers are crossed.

I will not say what I think is going on here I am just presenting the fax. If pressed I would say it was about fear of lawsuits for Mr Obama's future actions, a technical loop-hole if you will.


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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Happy Families

I don't actually have a post for today. Why you may ask yerselves? or you'll just say, "so fuck" and click on some inferior blog which is any other blog I just want to celebrate 'The Family' no not the Mafia but speaking of which when someone mentioned Canada to Al Capone he said, "What street is that on?" its true I was there I was disguised as a broad in order to assassinate him.

It all went badly we had a few drinks and I gave him the syphilis that killed him ......... so I killed him-ish but didn't get fucking paid I don't wanna talk about it.

The family which is a man and a woman and some kids is a sacred institution, none of that new age shite with gheys or single mothers looking after kids thats just crazy. Jeffery Dahmer and Ted Bundy came from traditional families and they went on to becum famous hoosehold names.

Obama came from a single parent and look where that poor sod ended up, on a sinking ship with the rats fleeing back to Mexico.

My logic and reason is impeccable you can argue but you'd be wrong.

I have known Brad and Angie separately for years and was so happy when he dumped that Aniston slag, she never liked me a secret leezer probably.

I do find it flattering that the Bradster is trying to copy me and has even put a flat cap onto his child.
Lovely looking children by the way I was just all too happy to help out, I um mean by baby sitting of course.
Oh Angie they never learned the word 'Cunt' from me it was no doubt from one of those savages you adopted, dirty children.

Well I'm off to watch Marley and me. Hahahahaha only kidding Brad in case anyone doesn't know the dog dies in the end, it gets rabies and is shot don't feel bad about it Owen Wilson looks through its kennel and finds a ton of puppy porn, turns out Marley was a pedo.

I give it 2 thumbs up, no really if yer dog is a pedo sticking yer thumbs up its hole is the only way to cure it, or is that how to stop a bear attack?


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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Lovely Puppy Post

From the Telegraph

Snowy, a Jack Russell terrier, was born into a litter of six and then sold to new owners who gave her back when they realized she was deaf .
Passed from home to home and snubbed by her littermates, she became shy, withdrawn and would cut herself to get attention .

She was handed over to staff at the Dogs Trust Salisbury Shelter in the U.K., they found that she was actually very intelligent and soon was responding to a series of hand gestures meaning sit, stay and walk . "Snowy is very bright and learned remarkably quickly, so she's picked up half a dozen commands already," said trainer Leslie Carley. "When she first came in she didn't have a clue what was going on and would chase around causing trouble."

Some of the signals Snowy now knows include "Down" (point to the floor then flatten hand and move downward parallel to the ground), "Walk" (rotate fists), and "Relax and be quiet" (put index finger to lips). She is expected to add new signs to her doggie vocabulary in the coming weeks, and staff are hopeful that they will be able to find Snowy a home due to her newfound obedience.

If you want a trendy designer deaf dog click here



I feel dirty after that post. I have points and questions about this. When the dog barks does it bark funny like the way deaf people talk funny? No offense to any deaf people reading this, can deaf people read? I've heard stories about how some deaf folk don't want treatment to enable them to hear because they don't think there is anything wrong with them. Very fucking dumb if you ask me, what are yer ears for then? not for holding yer glasses on as being near or far sighted is natural no wonder Snowy was told to fuck off by her litter.

When yer deaf dog is barking away you'd have to throw a stone at it as it couldn't hear yer yelling, maybe one of those electric shock collars with a remote. For anyone looking to be the next Mrs Old Knudsen I must warn you that wearing one of those collars is in the prenuptial agreement.

Sign language my arse, if its so fucking smart it can get a job. I'd teach it sign language with a rolled up copy of the Telegraph :::whack::: this is a sign to stop shitting in the hoose :::whack::: this is a sign to stop wanting fed everyday :::whack::: and this is for the Queen, what a lovely woman she is.

I've heard about blind dogs or all seeing eye dogs which sounds far-fetched and mystical but not deaf dogs thats taking the piss, next there will be fat dogs riding power scooters and dogs saying they only bit the Postman because they are Bi-polar or "What slipper? I have no recollection of any such event."

There is an expression, " The more I meet people the more I like my dog" or is it kick my dog? anyway it was a Yank President so don't believe it. If dogs are becuming more like people then I have no use for them.
I don't want a dog e-mailing me saying it refuses to lick peanut butter off me balls due to the semonella scare.

Useless Information:

Mutt and Jeff is rhyming slang for deaf so is Corned Beef but you have to be from my part of the world as you pronouce it 'Deef'.

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Kittens


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