Love It Or Leave It

I don't want to give the wrong impression about my love for America. Ever since I was a child receiving free health care and watching appreciate TV up until 9pm when the grown up shows started I dreamed about coming to the USA. Everyone wants to cum here and why not? On windy days the air is sort of clean the tap water has so many chemicals and grit that its like a meal. You can catch rabies or even the plague from squirrels and every one is so friendly and most of all FREE! ............... except the hookers.

America has the best pretend heroes which is why the rest of the world doesn't want to mess with it.

The A-Team may not be able to hit any thing with their weapons but they win moral victories all the time.

America doesn't have dirty smut in their daily newspapers for just anyone to look at because the naked human body is sinful and rightly so .

America has the best Serial Killers. I mean dressing up as a lovable clown, that is genius.

American weemen are easy. Well thats what I've found out since being here. I am raw and knackered.

Americans love guns and let any cunt have them, yes I have guns isn't that cool? A 357 Colt Python is a thing of beauty. If you have one you don't want send it to me.

A nation of animal lovers. They love them so much they let them run free. Sure they blame the economy but really a free dog is a happy dog. Don't forget to buy yer Beverly Hills Chihuahua, lets hope the Dalmatian from that last craze has died or run off.

Americans are just so positive. They turn military failures like The Alamo and Nam into victories. Peasants may kick yer arse but with some patriotic music and the right lighting you'll win in the movies.

Then there is the freedom of speech thing, well as long as Google, Wordpress and the Government don't mind what you say of course.

And remember there is no filthy smut like this in yer daily Newspaper.

A country based on immigration has made the nation more understanding towards change and other cultures.

A true melting pot of cultures, never turning on the poor or doontrodden because yer people have gone through the same thing in the past.

Always against sin. When the Air-farce recently dropped a bomb onto a busy Las Vegas road it was a dud. Obviously a warning for those shameful people to change their ways and accept Jesus into their lives.

The politicians are beautiful, intelligent and honest and only have whats best for the American people at heart.

Americans always show repect to one another, especially weemen and children. I have never heard screaming coming from hooses on a regular basis however for a while I did think that a 13 year-old lad that lived across from me was named Motherfucker .

Bigger is better and I thank all those American tourists I've met in the UK who have pointed this out to me. You are right our 800 year-old castles just look old and dated, we should knock them all doon and put up strip-malls.