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Showing posts with label bikers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bikers. Show all posts

Monday, January 26, 2009

I Remember When All This Was Fields

Having done a 'deep' post, well when I say deep I mean deep for my readers as most of them read at an 8th grade level which would be 3rd year in a real school. I'm no sayin thats a bad thing I for one am envious as when I was 6 I had to get a job to support my Da and my 12 brothers and sisters, it wasn't until I was 9 that I found out I was actually in a street gang of pick pockets run by the evil Fagin who was fag in by name and nature anyway we were close.

Well I like this picture as it represents the world and my struggle to rise above the rest and see the truth plus its got a ginger in it about to feel pain. I obviously took this pic here in Southern Callyfornia when I was watching the lads do their bike stunts.

You know kids today don't listen to the wisdom of the aged and use words like, "Fuck off" and " If you keep watching us I'm telling my dad who'll kick yer ass" Where has the respect gone? I shouted over, "No don't shove those intestines in just hold them in place until the ambulance gets here" did they listen?


So is that a BMX or do they have a super duper cool name for them these days? its hard to keep up.
Remember when you were young you knew alsorts of unimportant shite and thats what kept you young and cool, now I don't know what the kids are into. It all seems so trivial.

There used to be this puppet in the UK called Emu (pronounced aimyou not e-moo) it was that Australian bird like an Ostrich and a fella called Rod Hull had his arm up it.

The bird took on a life of its own and would grab celebs and talk show hosts by the face and threw them to the ground, ah British culture at its best.

Violent, funny and good for the whole family .

In 1999 Rod Hull fell off the roof of his house while he was adjusting his TV aerial for a football match and died aged 63.
TV kept him alive and TV killed him. His son Toby took over the bird and he has cable TV.

Nowadays birds won't let you put yer hand up them and the kids have Emo (pronounced e-mo) its not the same.

Last week I was reading the lovely Pearl and she said about quotes making her feel old like when she quoted the Holy Grail at some young uns and they didn't get it. I gave this matter a great deal of thought and think its really also a knowledge of pop culture and history and that anyone at any age can have.

I had a wife who was only 5 years younger than me (God rest her soul) and she never got my references or jokes, yes that was the piano wire across the top of the stairs wife in case you were wondering. I hated that bloody piano, just because you can play half of Chop sticks doesn't mean you can play the piano .

Well with those lads and their bike stunts I was laughing at them and asking if they needed lessons on how to ride their bikes and as one kid kept on and on trying to lean his bike over and stand in the side and still move I shouted, "Use the force" which he got, you have to pick and choose yer quotes and dumb them doon. No wonder those kids are always fixing at their bikes.

I remember when bicycles had solid rubber tires and only one brake at the front, never stop at speed or you'd go over the handlebars, ach I remember when bicycles were called 'Bone rattlers' and a bike was the village slut.

Now if I could remember whether or not I took my pills today that would really help, the older you get the more yer short term memory goes, thats because there is fuck all worth remembering these days.


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Monday, December 1, 2008

Weemen Are For Poofs

Do you honestly think I sit around going "oh what am I going to post? I don't have a clue, how can I make people like me and get lots of readers?" well I don't cos I'm on the edge ya see.

I had a full and busy weekend cos on the edge yer out there doing it fer real, this ain't no TV show where you get loads of takes to get it right and this ain't no reality show with set up scenarios. I could be taking a dump and I'll get the buzz on me implant giving me orders, sometimes its confusing as God often talks to me or the heads in my fridge, mention the heads to the police and I'll deny everything and have you killed there is room on the top shelf.


Wasn't it a beautiful sunset tonight?


I joined this biker gang called the Rough Riders, their motto is "Weeman are for poofs" cos they are too tough to hang about with gurls. I've been through a lot in my life but maybe I'm getting too old but either I wasn't hard enough for these guys or hardness has gotten harder and more firm, my BMX could not keep up with their motorbikes so I had to drop out. I didn't get a refund on my membership nor the DNA samples they took from my member, their vetting procedures were very thorough and all done from a hole in the wall.


Well I believe I've been hung out to dry, the same thing happened to Bond. They declassified him and as soon as he walked into any Indian casino the bad guy stroking the pussy knew who he was. Not very good for a spy. By showing this card I can get discounts in hardware stores and in KFC on Wednesdays.

I went on a mission to Mars. Yes I know it takes years to get there but when yer huffing Methylated spirits you can take a short cut. I know meth kills but so does having a crap just ask Elvis about that. Yes we found a face on Mars, some say its signs of a former civilisation and others have dismissed it as a trick of the light. I don't know I can't really see anything, like those magic eye pictures I never got them either. We did find water on Mars, well after we dumped out our toilet reservoirs maybe something will evolve from it or from the parasites in my shit.


The male ego mixed in with German pride many people have speculated why the Germans always lose at war, well on one hand you have Ed Harris commanding tank units in the desert and on the other you have Old Knudsen................ Ka-Chow!


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