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Showing posts with label sarah palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarah palin. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2008

News Flash!!!!!!!!

The children from the 'Village of the damned' have teamed up with a giant Lego robot and are destroying Southern England ................ the world doesn't care.

This image is far more scary than anything Dr Who could cum up with.

A skinny bloke in tennis shoes runs up, he is followed by an ugly woman. "leave this planet" he shouts in a stereotype English accent forsaking his real beautiful Scots one. "I am the Doctor and I command you to leave" ugly woman says something glib.

The Lego bot says in a mechanical voice, "destroy destroy" while the children from the village of the Damned not to be confused with the children of the corn because children are so fucking scary charge up their glowing blow yer head up eyes.

"Now" shouts the doctor as some minor character throws an electric cable onto the puddle of water on the ground killing the robot and the kids.

The Doctor and the ugly ASSistant are still alive ............ huh? "Rubba soles!" shouts the doctor.

The Ghostbusters come on and say, "you should have just reversed the polarity for crossed the streams ."

Governor Palin from Buttfuck Alaska walks by and says, "The streams will not be crossed, say no to Roe versus Wade and yes to mong children and children of rape and incest, and those yappy rape victims have to pay for their own rape kits and tests if they want us to investigate."

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dirty Sanchez Strikes Again

Palin wins this weeks 'Dirty Sanchez' award for being a stupid bint.


You may have heard about Troopergate. Sarah Palin the Vice presidential candidate who thinks that Alaska being beside Russian counts as foreign policy used her position as Governor of Alaska to put pressure on Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan to fire a State Trooper who was in the process of divorcing her sister. When Monegan refused it was he that was fired.

I'm not even going to get into how Palin gives thousands of dollars back to Alaskan residents in tax breaks but still her state is one of the biggest beggars to federal funding to relieve poverty which her state is full of. Looks a little like bribery to stay in office at the expense of the cuntry to me . Then there was her hidden pregnancy in which when she started to go into labour early she flew back from the convention she was at to give birth. I suppose if you know yer baby is a mong a safe birth isn't a priority. Her husband Todd's initals are TP (toilet paper) handy for that shit on her upper lip.

Anyway this post isn't about Palin because she is a total mong and so is anyone who votes for her. I get a little confused with America sometimes, that is understandable as I am from a real country. Anyone who reads me knows how intelligent and knowledgeable I am so if I get confused I pity yer poor average Yank, no wonder they elect who they do.

There is state and federal law over here in the 'united' states. State law is obviously made by the state and federal law by the government.
Federal law should be the law of the land but over here laws and rules are merely guidelines and everyone here does as they please. Its called freedom.

I have broken both state and federal law since being here and I haven't even lived here that long. For instance 'Illegal' fireworks on the 4th July really means "Who says what I can and cannot explode to celebrate my cuntry? I'm being patriotic (idiotic more like) so don't tread on me" usually those who use illegal fireworks don't live in areas with flammable brush nearby and don't care about those who do or those with shingles on their roof instead of tile.

Its a 'I've got mine' country otherwise known as Capitalism, study politicians to see it in action I bet none of those have to crush cans to make the rent or have ever pushed a shopping cart full of groceries home from the shops a mile away because they don't have a car. Funny how they all seem to get connected up to big money deals, maybe they do it on their days off.

Anyway I need to get my hands on a gun no questions asked but the gangs at the park are afraid of me and the Police and military go on about being a legal resident so I applied to the Sheriffs office , being a Sheriffs deputy isn't being a real cop you get to drive about places and harass people and are only accountable to yerself................ sounds similar to real police but anyone can join it these days and you don't even have to like donuts.


I applied for them and I was worried about the background check as I have a lot of skeletons and tied up naked weemen in my closet but they let me fill that part out myself, like writing on my blog really.

The name and address question was difficult as I have so many to keep track of. It was all plain sailing which is an odd expression as plains fly and not sail then I got to the mandatory drug test, what? why do they need that? big fucking brother if you ask me.
Ok I may have taken a few things as of late which might hamper my prospects so I excused myself and made a quick phone call to one of my peeps.

I'm just so smart sometimes it scares me.

Long story short I didn't get the job but it wasn't because of the drug test, the psych test said I was way too sane but I did find out from the drug test that I'm 3 months pregnant.



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Thursday, September 11, 2008

God Had A Day Off On September 11th

September 11th again and what a miserable anniversary like having someone die on yer birthday or at Christmas. The 15th August is another one for me being the date of the Omagh bombing there are many other terrible slaughters and disasters that stick in yer mind but the dates get a bit fuzzy.

Where was God on that day? or where the fuck was Superman cum to think of it.

I haven't given up looking for Obama, David Blaine was the latest rag head I've water boarded but the cunt liked it. When I left him at the side of the road after a week of torture he was begging me to freeze him in a block of ice and hang him from Big Ben

The stupid cunt doesn't realise that Big Ben is the bell inside the clock not the clock, what a tosser.


Speaking of tossers The Arch Bishop of Leeds............ my Nemesis. Yes the same one who threatened Google with legal action about one of my posts is a Fenian pedo cock sucker. I just wanted to remind you all

If you add the numbers 9/11 you get the number 20 which is the age of this gurl

Which means nothing at all. 911 is the emergency number for America, in the UK its 999 which turned upside doon is 666 which as we all know adds up to 24 the age that this gurl will be in 4 years. Just an excuse to show a nice pair of knockers.



Look who I saw doon the street yesterday. America being kind to its former ally faked his execution and put him into witness protection program. I chewed the fat with my old mucker having a laugh about the Iran/Iraq war and how the Yank advisers who trained the Iraqis and equipped them with weapons kept gassing the wrong cuntry cos they got confused with the names.

Everyone knows that Saddam helped Obama do the 9/11 attack which is why America invaded Iraq . In fact Saddam invested in the American flag industry just beforehand and in the 2 weeks of Yank patriotism he made millions. Of course the profits soon flagged and even the witness protection program had to make cuts due to a crashing economy which is why Saddam is where he is today.


Saddam in younger and more happier times.


On a different note it seems that young stars of Disney are wearing 'promise rings' that means they won't have sex until they are married. Considering the stars of Disney turn out to be right sluts I find this highly amusing. Remember 'Love is a promise delivered broken' not having sex before marriage is like buying shoes without trying them on.


Oh so thats why you won't have sex before marriage. Thanks to Jimmy Bastard for allowing me to post this picture, it takes guts.


Sarah Palin the soon to be VP has been getting the votes in rightly by supporting ghey conversion. Yer average poo pirate can be upgraded to straight by intense religious study, Protestant of course. Well done lass.

Go to my shop blog for more on the subject and make me rich ya cunts.


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