Hot And Tasty

Obviously this will be the post to make me even more famous than I already am. Do not watch if under the age of 18 or if you are easily offended by graphic sexual content involving badgers.


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Why Isn't The Earth Opening Up And Swallowing Me?

I just had to mention this incredibly tacky gaff made by Matt Lauer who is the host of a day-time talk show I don't watch called 'The Today Show'. Lauer is the bloke that had Tom Cruise ranting about antidepressants and unmasked him as Satan in case you don't know him from anything else.

Robert Kennedy Jr the son of the assassinated RFK in 1968 was on the show because he writes books. His latest was the story of an African-American Civil War hero. I'm not sure if the war was in Africa or America but thats besides the point.

Lauer asks “I just gotta ask…how's your Dad doing?”

Kennedy looks stunned for a second no doubt thinking over his answers, "um could be better" or " no change so far." Then he sees that Lauer isn't the brightest crayon in the box and figures out that he means his uncle Ted Kennedy who is taking his own sweet time in dying. Can someone not shoot that fat fuck?

Lauer recovered and just pretended it never happened but really how's yer dad doing? and how's yer uncle JFK? still getting the migrianes? You know who you don't see anymore? Benazir Bhuttor what ever happened to her career?

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Dirty Sanchez Strikes Again

Palin wins this weeks 'Dirty Sanchez' award for being a stupid bint.


You may have heard about Troopergate. Sarah Palin the Vice presidential candidate who thinks that Alaska being beside Russian counts as foreign policy used her position as Governor of Alaska to put pressure on Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan to fire a State Trooper who was in the process of divorcing her sister. When Monegan refused it was he that was fired.

I'm not even going to get into how Palin gives thousands of dollars back to Alaskan residents in tax breaks but still her state is one of the biggest beggars to federal funding to relieve poverty which her state is full of. Looks a little like bribery to stay in office at the expense of the cuntry to me . Then there was her hidden pregnancy in which when she started to go into labour early she flew back from the convention she was at to give birth. I suppose if you know yer baby is a mong a safe birth isn't a priority. Her husband Todd's initals are TP (toilet paper) handy for that shit on her upper lip.

Anyway this post isn't about Palin because she is a total mong and so is anyone who votes for her. I get a little confused with America sometimes, that is understandable as I am from a real country. Anyone who reads me knows how intelligent and knowledgeable I am so if I get confused I pity yer poor average Yank, no wonder they elect who they do.

There is state and federal law over here in the 'united' states. State law is obviously made by the state and federal law by the government.
Federal law should be the law of the land but over here laws and rules are merely guidelines and everyone here does as they please. Its called freedom.

I have broken both state and federal law since being here and I haven't even lived here that long. For instance 'Illegal' fireworks on the 4th July really means "Who says what I can and cannot explode to celebrate my cuntry? I'm being patriotic (idiotic more like) so don't tread on me" usually those who use illegal fireworks don't live in areas with flammable brush nearby and don't care about those who do or those with shingles on their roof instead of tile.

Its a 'I've got mine' country otherwise known as Capitalism, study politicians to see it in action I bet none of those have to crush cans to make the rent or have ever pushed a shopping cart full of groceries home from the shops a mile away because they don't have a car. Funny how they all seem to get connected up to big money deals, maybe they do it on their days off.

Anyway I need to get my hands on a gun no questions asked but the gangs at the park are afraid of me and the Police and military go on about being a legal resident so I applied to the Sheriffs office , being a Sheriffs deputy isn't being a real cop you get to drive about places and harass people and are only accountable to yerself................ sounds similar to real police but anyone can join it these days and you don't even have to like donuts.


I applied for them and I was worried about the background check as I have a lot of skeletons and tied up naked weemen in my closet but they let me fill that part out myself, like writing on my blog really.

The name and address question was difficult as I have so many to keep track of. It was all plain sailing which is an odd expression as plains fly and not sail then I got to the mandatory drug test, what? why do they need that? big fucking brother if you ask me.
Ok I may have taken a few things as of late which might hamper my prospects so I excused myself and made a quick phone call to one of my peeps.

I'm just so smart sometimes it scares me.

Long story short I didn't get the job but it wasn't because of the drug test, the psych test said I was way too sane but I did find out from the drug test that I'm 3 months pregnant.



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Fell On My Dick More Like

I don't like to kiss and tell in fact I don't really like to kiss at all, well not on the mouth there is just something about a stench trench, if Glade had an plug-in air freshener of a hoo hoo I'd buy them.

Nancy Reagan or Starmoon sex-kitten was reported to have fallen and broken her pelvis. Well I totally banged that broad until she broke. She is quite insatiable for an 87 year-old in fact she told me that her constant demands for sex drove Ronnie insane, she quite literally fucked his brains out which explains a lot.

Its just lucky she has good medical coverage and is recovering well at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. I'll be using her Bel-Air pool for a while.......... after I clean out the water of course.

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I Have A Dream

Of a cashless society and today I feel we are one step closer.


Yes that was my post, cashless society of course meaning everything will be done electronically moving yer money in cyberspace through banks and shops and you'll never have to count change ever again. The worldwide recession making us cashless in another way of course .

I went through my links as it seems many have deleted their blogs or my link so I thought it was time to clear hoose. I knew Manuel would droop eventually with his 40 blogs, blog fer yerself lad.
I'll give those who have been mates in the past another year to post as loyalty is a trait I value for I am a terrier.
If you feel yer link was deleted improperly please tell me (in yer own words of course) why I should reinstate it. No cunts need apply.

I thought of a joke today, hey I didn't say it was funny I was just mulling my issues about in me head.

What do you call a sociopath with a blog?


An I.T. Specialist


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and ha! and that is why you pay to read my blogs my friends.

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Baby Suckers Now Cum In A Bag

Dr Nick the supplier of stem cells to the stars. He keeps them young with the cells of babies.


The stem cell business is taking off when many businesses are failing. A renewable resource and one that has been made famous by movie stars. Scientists have now found that the best cells to treat diseases like Parkinson's and diabetes and to reverse aging and give super strength are to be found in male testicles , this benefit will only apply to men or extremely hairy weemen.

Here seen in his last role as Doctor Who

Christopher Reeve who is famous for his wheelchair brawl with professor Stephen Hawking and for playing Superman , Doctor Who and Todd on The young and the restless was paralyzed from the neck doon after a horse raping incident if you remember well . If he had lived longer he could have been sucking on the balls instead of the stems of dead babies.


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All Is Right With The World

Well well you can see by their faces the Irish (or professional Fenians as I call them) are not so smug about their economy known as "The Boom, Ireland's Economic Miracle or The Celtic Tiger" they have had it so good for the last 13 odd years or so they actually got back a lot of the Irish immigrants who had the good sense to get out. Imagine that, immigrating to Ireland how Irish does that sound?

Only those who were living in the 80's know what Ireland is supposed to be like, no potatoes living in a caravan and being cold wet and poor all the time and dressing in clothes from the 70's. The younguns in the 90's who bragged about The Celtic Tiger this and that as they snorted Charlie off some ugly birds arse while wearing a shell suit do not know what they are in for.

It could not have lasted forever, now the poles are leaving and yer stuck with all the mucksavages who came home looking for jobs. It is a sad time but the Irish can now go back to their place of being doontrodden and stubbornly defiant.

I'll not be expecting any awards at the next Irish Blog Awards as usual (if they have them) see what happens when you snub Old Knudsen 2 years in a row? .......... The name is Balls........Bitter Balls.



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