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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Old Bitter Ball's First Guest Blogger


Hello everybody I'm Dr Fregoli. I'm Mr Shufflebottom's psychiatrist or as you may know him 'Old Knudson.' I am breaking my hypocritical oath by giving you doctor patient information but I feel its important to his recovery that you all know the truth.

To give you all a little idea of my vast academic achievements and experience I have a B.A. in B.O. a M.D. in B.M. and drive an Audi Quattro TT.
I have graduated with honors from the Electoral college and also Hamburger University........ in Hamburg and last year I had a piece titled 'My perfect Sunday' published in Psychiatry monthly.

I have been Mr Shufflebottom's doctor for 10 years now and have only seen slight improvement. He no longer believes that if he doesn't punch every Catholic he meets something bad will happen and other OCD traits have lessened like blogging everyday. The Tourettes is still their with his favorite word being 'c**t' so vulgar.

Mr Shufflebottom does have delusions of grandeur which I have been trying to reason out with him. He is not an immortal one legged womanizing Scots/Irish man who is a Timelord and former spy , in fact he is a small fat balding middle aged man who lives with his parents in Orange County and has never had a girlfriend.

Since changing his medication I have brought him out of his dream like existence with a fantasy world in his head of living in a Scottish town of Killamory.
He now accepts that he is living in America, this is a major breakthrough and with some brain surgery on his frontal lobe known as a 'Lobotomy' he may go on to live a normal life similar to your average Texan or Floridian.

My patients exact age has been a mystery to me as his birth records were destroyed in a fire so the same people who carbon dated the shroud of Turin have also dated Mr Shufflebottom, they came to the conclusion that he was about 800 years old but what do they know ? its not like its sciency or something.

Ok peeps lets cut the shit Shufflebottom is a shape changing demon and needs to be destroyed by the 7 daggers of Xu - Cathiel or a very large gun with a lot of bullets.
I cannot do this myself as I am too pretty for jail, please I implore you to kill him NOW, or next week whenever is good for you and stop sending him naked pictures hes not really a reality show talent scout.

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