Let sleeping poo pirates lie
I just wanted to tell you about an excuse for phoning in sick a guy I worked with once used. His sister was probably the inspiration for "don't run with scissors" and "you'll put yer eye out" because once when they were kids she chased him with a pair of scissors and did indeed put his eye out.John's dreams of joining the police or military were dashed which is how he ended up working with me in Tillyman's fish and chip shop.
He phoned up the manager and told him that his glass eye fell out and smashed.
Funny how these unfortunate things happen on Saturday nights. The manager was stunned and didn't suggest an eye patch or ping pong ball as he didn't want to sound like a cunt.
True story. I wonder if you fucked an empty eye socket would yer jizz alter the brain and make the other person/animal more like you? something to think about.
True story. I wonder if you fucked an empty eye socket would yer jizz alter the brain and make the other person/animal more like you? something to think about.
Knowing I was incontinent of North America a Blogger who shall remain nameless rushed over to have her wicked way with me.I just want to thank her for those special 3 minutes of bliss (yes we did it twice) and for removing her teeth as she knows how much I miss the lovely ladies of Killamory.
Being an immigrant I qualify for all sorts of benefits as paid by the tax payer and am already close to my first million.
They aren't used to Scots or other semi civilised people so the bored beaner lady which is a term here for Mexicans (I suppose its like 'bean flicker' a term for a leezer) was taking my details and thought UK meant the Ukraine, we did have a chuckle and she never knew how close to death she came for thinking I could possibly be a Slav.
Look whats doon the road from me, those fucking Slavs are everywhere.
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