"When yer Preez you'll find that the blood just doesn't come off, its fucking awesome."Its official I'm sick of US politics. A presidential candidate is as useful as an ash tray on a motorbike. Its like putting 3 guns on a table and saying "Which one do I want to blow my head off with?"
I'm a little busy at the moment I got a call from the 'Company' saying my license to kill needs to be updated. I'm ok with guns, knives, explosives, ropes and woodwind instruments its the miscellaneous section that needs some work, that's the killing with a pen, rolled up magazine, dish cloth etc. I updated my fountain pen skills to a bic and then a sharpie so I thought I was good but oh no it was the mobile phones that got me.
Back in the day the mobiles were just so heavy you could smash someone's head in with it but now they are tiny and skinny and require more skill to kill with, I don't even own a mobile but you just don't know when you have to pick up whats nearby to fight with.
Mobiles are so small now I can hardly see them no wonder people have to shout into them. I heard a young fella shout into one, "Where you at?" do they mean in life? fuck that's a bit deep, I know I'm at that stage in life where I look at what some people have to say and wonder why no one has killed them yet, a fool at 40 is indeed a fool.
Now that I'm in Callyfornia I have to take a course in hand to hand sun glasses fighting. In the UK if you see someone wearing sunglasses you'd think either "look a blind person" or "look a tourist" in any case easy pickings to mug if you needed some beer money.
Nah only kidding what kind of cunt do you thing I am mugging a blind person ? I would stand behind them when they are about to cross the road waiting for the lights to change and go "beep beep beep beep beep beep" well I have ADHD and am a sex addict so its not my fault I just get bored easily.
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