Look at the sheer joy on my face when I thought I had won $30 million dollars on the Super Lotto Plus.My lady friend Julie who finally gave in and accepted my offer of a date was most upset when she found out I had misread the numbers and had only got one, 38 in case you were wondering.
She told me she got a phone call about a family emergency and left. I must be serious as she has had her mobile phone turned off for the rest of the night. Ah well honest mistakes and anyway I came.
The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation is apologising to people who bought more than 1,100 lottery tickets that appeared to be big winners but were actually mis-prints.
Before The Troll comments about how stupid me and me readers are blah blah blah I'd like to say what a horse's arse licking wanker he is.
Sorry thats a mis-print hes a horse's cock sucking wanker which explains the breath.
The "winners" will not receive any cash because the law says that misprinted lottery tickets are null and void. You know I might have been able to live with null but void as well? it leaves a void in my life.
One Canadian winner who thought he had won $135,000 Canadian Dollars "had already made plans to move his family out of their basement apartment, send his children to college and live the life he had always dreamed about".
Sounds like a childless single life in his basement apartment to me.
This guy living in his parent's basement didn't have enough money to send his kids to college and move his nagging wife out.
All he has in life once he gets paid at the blood diamond mine up there in Canada is buying 10 lottery tickets a week to give him hope and a case of beer to blot out his crappy existence.
If his kids are serious about college or the porn industry which is in need of a huge, throbbing government bail-out then maybe they should apply with full length pictures to my trust fund.
'The Old Knudsen Trust For The Young And Firm Bodied'
If you wish to donate:
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is fighting for his tattered reputation after the whole selling of Obama's Senate chair on E-bay. He is going on about his record saying "does that not count for anything?" Thinking he should get off with it.
Well if you only raped and murdered one person in yer life should you only get parole because you gave money to a trust fund for young people?
Sheila Dixon the Mayor of Baltimore, America was caught hitting companies up for gift cards to give to the poor and needy but kept most of them for herself as she shopped at 'Toys Ar se' and other stores.
She insists she has done nothing wrong and will continue to carry on as mayor as if nothing ever happened.
How can you make public appearances waving and smiling at people knowing you spent $500 in gift cards that was meant to go to poor kids?
It was nice of the Canadians to say sorry as in most countries its a good old "tough shit bucko".
Like when the Yanks bomb Canadian troops in the wars of terror.
I love films and I have this one called, "15 minutes" Edward Burns and Bobby De Niro. There are these two Slavs who go around killing people. One of them observes American life from daytime TV and the Tabloids.
One case he hears about is a guy who kills but blames it on his psychiatrist for not putting him on meds because he should have known what he is capable of. The killer gets off with it and becomes an artist and gets a book deal.
The Slav looks at all of this and comments that no one takes responsibility in America. He later tries the insanity plea himself and nearly gets away with it.
When you see mongs suing McDonald's because they burned themselves on the 'Hot' apple pie or when they spilled their coffee over their knob or because they blame the fast food chain for making them fat you see that all of this is true.
Then McD's change the menu and no more super size or they bring in salads and luke warm food as if it wasn't bad enough before .
Hey I'm a sex addict or I'm addicted to drugs and drink, its an illness you know. No it isn't its called restraint its called making choices.
In 2007 Elizabeth Shelton then aged 21, whose father is juvenile court Judge Pat Shelton (I don't think that means he is a juvenile) had a blood alcohol limit more than three times the legal limit when the SUV she was driving rear-ended a truck, killing her boyfriend.
Convicted of intoxication manslaughter for the death of her boyfriend she was sentenced to eight years' probation and had to serve four months in jail.
The gurl is suing the truck driver she ran into for negligence though there is no evidence of such.
Or the woman who was drunk with her 2 kids in the car and she crashes killing her 11 year-old daughter. The judge blames the demon drink and says she has to pay for the funeral as punishment as she has suffered enough.
C'mon what a fucking system, you can sue anyone for anything and some time you may get lucky.
Take responsibility people, admit to me yer sins and I shall give out an appropriate punishment, deny it and you'll just make things worse on yerself.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first half brick" I'm throwing a virtual half brick at you cunts.
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