Where Do You Go When You Die?

Look at the death in my eyes I go into battle already dead.

The other night I dooned my usual cocktail of pain pills, Holsten Pils, Marine varnish and mouthwash. I had my service revolver shoved up under my chin and I shouted "Talk to me damn it Gog I demand real answers about the after life cos I don't trust yer heavenly sneaky arse."

About 15 minutes later 6 security guards chased me out of Wal-Mart but not before I had lifted some chocolaty items near the door.

I wobbled home and typed this into the computer

"Where do you go when you die?"

Some gurl named Gringa had asked the same question on Yahoo answers so here are some of the responses which I thought I'd share so you'd be enlightened too.


Gringa asks: Where do you go when you die?

I mean before judgment. I was thought that when you die you don't go to heaven or hell right off, you go to heaven or hell after judgment when he gathers everyone and reads from the book of life to which this is your second death. Please help me to understand.

Answerer 1

Peru .......................... No way for fucks sake it must be an redneck American answering this one as Peru is a south American state that lost in the civil war.

Answerer 2

Where do you go when you die?

Same place you were before you were born ................ Thats like you losing yer glasses and some helpful cunt says "well where did you have them last?"

Answerer 3

Who knows? Wait and see when you die............... Why did you bother to type this useful answer?

Answerer 4

I'm going to sneak around as ghost and mess with people................... Thats what I do now so no change there.

Answerer 5

i think your soul wanders the streets of earth............. Yep I do that too but more of a stagger than a wander.

Answerer 6

........um. nowhere ............ How can you go nowhere cos then if you went there then its a place you stupid wanker.

Answerer 7

Cremation oven............ Let me guess a fucking Nazi answered this one.

Answerer 8

You go for a dirt nap. Life is right here right now. Don't worry about when your dead............ Well that is so helpful.

Answerer 9

Sorry. The Pope The German Guy did away with purgatory. Now you wait with a priest who wants to show you his toy.............. What if yer a gurl?

Answerer 10

I think depending on your life you'll either go to heaven or hell, but those are just the waiting places before the final judgment. After the final judgment, the righteous are given the New Earth and New Jerusalem, and the unrighteous are cast into the Lake of Fire, which is a second death.

But I guess we'll know for sure when we get there, eh? ^_^..................... I don't want to go to Jerusalem, what a fucking dangerous place that is, me Darth Vader and Golem will be fishing by the lake of fire.

Answerer 11

u go to heaven and u have a nice life with god x).................... How can you live a nice life if yer dead? these people are dumber than my commenters. Does God have a pension or health plan? I bet hes a socialist.

Answerer 12
According to catholic doctrine, you go to purgatory for purification prior to your resurrection and entry to heaven.................... So like walking through a foot bath before you go into the swimming pool? I'll just sit here and believe what the Fenians make up.

Answerer 13

Into the ground.................. What a deep answer, 6 feet deep.

Answerer 14

the DMV....................... I've been there and that thought alone is enough to make me put doon my service revolver. For those Brits its where you get yer drivers license and its busier than the post office on pension day.

Answerer 15

Nowhere, for We are everlasting ................. Tell that to my Da on the mantle piece.

Answerer 16

well you have a choice you could be buried underground, or become ashes............. Hard to decide when yer dead.

Answerer 17

wherever your body is buried or your ashes are spread.................. another helpful cunt.

Answerer 18

that has been debated. some people say you go into a deep sleep, others say that you go to somewhere in between heaven. it depends what you believe.................. I believe that children are our future, yes we're fucked.

Answerer 19

your body goes into the ground, your mind shuts off, and "you" don't go anywhere because you are spirit................... Can you not put in a pipe or something that leads to the surface so the spirit can get out?

Answerer 20

You go into the ground. You stay there, unless you're a zombie.................. Are Zombies extra strong cos coffins are fucking solid and with all that dirt on top that would be a few tons? A vampire is stronger than a zombie they would have less trouble.

Answerer 21

=2 0

You go to a place where people are mean, evil, and desperate. Basically, you go to Paris Hiltons family reunion......................... Thats Hot!

Answerer 22

in the ground..................... :::::::Yawn:::::::: you comment on my blog I just know it.....Troll.

Answerer 23

Same place you go before you were born. nowhere............. How can you be nowhere because where you are is where you is?

When you are dead, you are dead. It was painless before birth it will be painless after death. In the meantime believe in life before death, go love some people, give kindness and hugs..............Fucking hippy, just because you can't remember it doesn't mean it was painless. I can't remember 1978 but I know I got Herpes then so fuck that excuse.

Answerer 24

When you die you can either be put in the ground or burned up to ashes thats it......... Deep as a bird bath must be a Yank.

Answerer 25

you get reincarnated. what you come back as depends on how you lived your life......... I'm in for a big promotion then. What is better than what I already am?

Answerer 26

You either go to Heaven, Wander the Earth, or go to H-E double hockey sticks.......... Its HELL, say it with me. Or Hel who was a very nice and perky Goddess back in the day, not Satany or anything you die and go to her pad good or bad.

Answerer 27

in a coffin or urn.............. What about a baggy or a cardboard box? don't fucking well limit me for if you do then you limit yerself.

Answerer 28

White ashes.

On White Ashes (Hakkotsu no Gobunshø)
This letter by Rennyo Shonin is usually read at funeral services.

Now, if we look realistically at the nature of human life, we see that it is fleeting and unpredictable, illusive almost. Birth, life and death pass by in the twinkling of an eye. Thus we never hear of the human body lasting for ten thousand years.

And who today can keep the body young and healthy for even one hundred years? Yes, how quickly our lives slip away. Whether I am the first or someone else, whether today or tomorrow, our lives on earth do indeed one day come to an end. Life seems to vanish unseen like ground water, or to evaporate like the morning dew on the summer lawn.

Thus our bodies may be radiant with health in the morning, but by evening they may be white ashes. If the right causes and conditions prevail, our two eyes are closed forever, our breathing ceases and our bodies lose the glow of life. Our relatives in great numbers and with great wealth can assemble, but they are powerless to change our situation. Even the rites and rituals of grief and mourning change nothing. All we can do is prepare the body for cremation; all that is left is white ashes.

In view of these facts, does it not m ake sense to focus on the things we can change? We cannot control the passing away of both young and old alike.

With friendly reverence, I remain....................... And this is the perfect example of why you shouldn't answer questions when drunk. Well I'm no better off. I have died a couple of times but Doctor Witch brought me back before I could see any tunnel of love or light. Thanks to the embalming fluid it still burns when I pee. I guess I'll have to believe my old Pastor the Reverend Bobby Love who says "If yer not with me (Protestant) then yer against me so off to Hell you weakest link."

I'm off to answer the question:

Would King Solomon be working in the porn Industry if he was alive today?


Well someone had to ask it.

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