The Art Of War

People ask me all the time, "Old Knudsen just what do you do for a living?" so I tell them and then I kill them. Classified information you see.

Just this week I was in the mountains of Pakistan, I was hired by 'The Company' to hunt doon a top IRA terrorist who was linking up with Osama to kill innocent people in the name of their agenda ridden religion.

Yes I did hear what that pope cunt said about fossil fuels, to quote "If you burn fossil fuels you will burn in Hell with those who have had abortions and divorces."

I don't trust any Nazi who refuses to wear a condom and supports pedos.

So anyway I was dropped off by helicopter and had to yomp 20 miles to my ambush point, there was a change to the enemies' plans so I had to go 2 extra days without rations living off my own spunk and snotters.

I saw them driving up, two raghead guards and Sean O'Malley a top IRA commander.

For this job I went slightly old school and used a Barrett light 50 M82A1, I tore those fuckers apart and stopped their Jeep dead so to speak.

For those with weak stomachs do not look at the next picture, war is hell but me rent was due.


I'm not proud of what I do, ah fuck that of course I'm proud otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it.

I'm changing over my Interweb access to something else so excuse the fuck out of me if I don't fucking blog, also I have a back log of terrorists to kill. The Israelis want me to bust a cap (sniper talk) into the Hezbollah cunts they swapped for the two dead bodies, my pleasure I said.

I can strip and assemble a L1A1 SLR (no not a camera) with my eyes closed but all this computery stuff is beyond me, still you won't be finding YouTubes here, I'll leave that to the lesser bloggers, now I'm off to watch a couple of Youtubes.

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Out And About

If you see the Old Knudsen RV show me yer tits for a free t-shirt. Tits must be shown for a long enough period for Old Knudsen to have a happy ending.

Being a high profile blogger who is usually high on some form of pain medication I am well aware that everyone is out to get me.
No I'm not some paranoid freak when you have all this going on weemen want to do you and men want to be you and men also want to do you and weemen also want to change you and use oral sex as a motivational tool but that's another story.

I guess I would feel unloved if I wasn't constantly being stalked so I keep an eye on my surrounding at all times.
I went into an up-scale restaurant called 'Farmer Boys' yesterday for the first time. When I say up-scale I don't mean those ghey ones with waiters and table clothes, no offense to that silly cunt Manuel but really get a real job like digging ditches or something.

They give you a number to set on yer table and a woman does bring you yer food but they don't hang around like a bad smell for protection money known as a tip.

I ordered fish and chips, I asked what kind of fish it was and the cashier was surprised to hear that there was different types of fish.
Remember back in the day we'd call it Cod and chips or whatever it was but now its just 'fish' so I ordered it anyway cos what was I going to eat a burger with avo fucking cado on it or zuc fucking chini whatever that is?

When I'm out and about I do get a lot of 'fuck me' eyes from people but there was this one woman who was really making me feel uncomfortable enough to make me take my cap off and hide it in my coat.

I don't like to be watched when I eat and this lass was taking notes.

I couldn't eat half of my chips no it wasn't the gurl watching me it was because they didn't fucking peel them fucking lazy Americans get a Mexican in and pay them $1.00 an hour to peel yer fucking taters if I wanted my chips to taste like dirt I'd have ordered a fucking side of mud.

I also sent back my iced tea and told them to boil it and put some milk and sugar in it oh and it had a slice of lemon floating in it make sure nothing else falls into it.
I got the idiot looks I got at that sushi place when I complained about my fish being raw are they trying to give me semolina poisoning?

So anyway I left the restaurant noticing that the lass went over to my seat and started to sniff the place where I sat and was fighting the staff for my left overs and used cutlery. The mystery was soon solved when I went out into the car park and saw this.

Not a word of a lie I took this picture with my own wee camera. Its her.

Bloggers aren't the same as they describe themselves it seems, except for me what you see or read is what you get if yer lucky.
I learned my lesson when I went up north and visited First Nations and MJ boy did my preconceived ideas based on the pictures they sent me sure take a beating.

Not only are they not young female and hot but they don't wash.

Speaking of taking a beating. Ok its nearly the 4th July and woop de doo you beat the British by all means celebrate its not like you win many wars, two as far as I can tell and one of those was only because the French helped you. French loving losers.

Its a fucking week away stop it with the fire crackers, those of us that have served during war time are sick to death of diving to the floor every 5 minutes having flashbacks to Waterloo or Normandy all that crying ruins my mascara and makes my face all puffy so quit it you cunts.

The only blogger I want to meet is Mago here, maybe someday.

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Drink From The Furry Cup My Friend

A few years ago I was recalled, no not because my wiring was faulty or because I pissed the bed a lot. I was recalled back into the company. Once you join the CIA you never leave. What I am about to tell you is super duper top secret so don't go spreading it about.

Silly ragheaded cunts plotted to kill the artist that drew this cartoon of Muhammed, all that achieved was to have the cartoon republished as an example of free speech..... enjoy my sandsavage friends.

It was late March in 2004, I was aboard a black company (CIA)transport plane flying low at night under the radar with 3 other operatives named, Dax, Thumper, Ninja and of course me 'The Stormbringer' we don't use real names but we were all aware of each others reputation, I wouldn't like to have to fight either of them, they would viciously kill you twice just for pleasure.

We touched doon at camp SG19 in Northern Arizona, I can't tell you what inflight movies we watched for yer own safety because its classified but one did involve fast and furious car chases and another was set in Japan about some old bloke that nearly shags some gurl with lips like a puffer fish, ba ba ba ba ba ba boring!

Nope I can't go to the pub today, I'm cleaning out my sex doll .

We walked into a black hangar, why are all the secret things black? are secret Santas black? if so do they live at the North pole too? and what about little white lies? do you get big well endowed black lies?

Speaking of black check out the rubbish in her boot, I want to spank that booty, I would totally hit her.

The new hit song from Take That.

The hangar was full of offices and shifty looking people popping valiums to help with their over developed paranoia. We were guided to a small room with tables and plastic chairs, for fucks sake my arse was going to sweat like an altar boy at a priest convention in Leeds.

I heard the Diocese of Leeds was full of pedos, just saying what I heard, more free speech for ya, go on kill me.

We took our seats and in walked a broad shouldered military type in a black suit, his thick neck and short blonde crew cut gave him away, probably Marines as he looked like a rapist he was call-signed 'Teacher' but we called him Hank, don't worry people its not like Al Qaeda can work computers they won't find out.

He started off by telling us about our enemy, "The raghead terrorist is dedicated, hes fearless, he never gets laid so therefore is angry, he hates puppies, kittens, long walks on the beach and sexy weemen. He is ruthless, murderous and has the sense of humour of a Catholic. Petty oppression is his way in the name of religion, we shall in the name of freedom and of course Christianity oppress him."

Hot weemen pouring pints I will kill 1000 Islamofacists with my bare hands to defend this.

He had me at hating kittens, I was as erect as Al Gore was when he won his Nobel peace price for making a mockumentary.
I stood up and said "Let me at the buggers," Dax was drooling and thumper was beating off which is how he got his name as for Ninja I hadn't seen that cunt since the plane a secretive fucker, all dressed in black you know.

Jews are our friends, even if they are stupid enough to circumcise, well at least we opposed Hitler to help them unlike some Fenian cocksucking nations.........woops their goes my Irish blog award to be sure to be sure.

"No my blood hungry warriors you must learn about yer enemy for other reasons." It seems we were brought in to play pretend ragheads to keep the war effort going and for Bush to get funding through Congress.

Isn't Laura Linney lusciously lovely? her chin really turns me on, hubba hubba.

Every now and then when needed I'd put on the old dark makeup and a towel on my head and act suspiciously.

The war in Iraq and Afghanistan isn't as big as you'd think I mean the biggest nations in the world against ragheads on camels? come on do you believe that they would give us that much trouble? half the war is stage effects, sure you get the odd Taliban attack but really most of its inflated or the CIA planting the bombs.

Osama Bin Laden is totally made up, if you were a fan of theatre you may have seen in appear in 'Cats' or maybe as bit parts on East Enders.

Don't piss off the chef at the local Indian restaurant.

President Bush himself is a muppet , no really hes a total muppet, 4 people operate him and one of them called Dick Cheney has his hand up his arse.

Did someone say arse?

Why are you touring Africa Mr Bush? who really gives a fuck about the Africans? and what has it to do with the USA? a saying of the CIA is "if yer cause is suffering blues, get on the telly and make some news."

I stopped playing along when I booked a holiday in Turkey only to find out that Turkey didn't exist, if anyone tells you it does then they are a CIA spook or just brainwashed .If you go on a holiday to Turkey you end up in a simulator drugged out of yer skull for two weeks, sometimes they give you an STD or a bad sun burn for reality sake, well that's what they did to me, I'm sure of it.

Fucking gorilla loving spammers, I know too much.

Ask questions people and don't believe anything you read, well unless its on one of my blogs especially my news blog as that is Frank Fearless Free and incorruptible as my price hasn't been agreed on yet.

To answer the question asked by the convicted crackhead Rodney King "Why can't we all just get along?" well we can, all we have to do is kill all the trouble makers.

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Mongs Kill People Not Bombs

Hey put on this belt, yer going to Disneyland.

Just when you thought Al-Qaeda couldn't get any lower they have. The scum bag terrorists put bombs onto two mentally disabled weemen, sent them into a busy market and blew them up by remote control.

The exploding mongs killed over 70 people out doing their shopping.
I've never understood the terrorist ability to do anything it takes to kill civilians, and to what end?
A different religion the same religion, the outrage of foreign soldiers on their soil it doesn't matter to them because they just care about what they want not what their people want.
Like an army of dumb as shit serial killers, fuck I hate terrorists.

What are they running out of young dumb teenage fanatics that they use mongs and babies as they used the other week?

You have so much to live for please don't push the button. I must say I have in fact probably had worse blowjobs, never date an epileptic woman with overbite.

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