If The SS Cum Looking For Me I Died

Listen up bitches aight! I just got back from Washington, it took longer than I thought. Did you know there was two? one is a state and one is a DC which stands for 'Da Capitol' . Anyway it was fucking cold there which is why I have me polar bears furs on and also to raise awareness of the effect Global warming might have on the Polar bears and their environment if Global warming actually existed.
After getting my man Obama the preez job he wanted me around to run interference and to protect his long gangly ass.


Within moments of taking the stage a shot from a high powered rifle broke the joy and Obama fell ded at Bushes feet. Bush stifled a giggle but could not hide his huge erection.


Luckily it was the French lookalike that was killed as I had used him to flush Cheny out. One less Frog, yes I do expect a medal.


I killed Cheny the only way I knew how to ..................... with death!

Maybe not , the big O didn't want anymore deaths so I knee capped the cunt.

Obama and I had a good laugh over it and he thanked me for covering his back yet again.


Then Obama went on to make the most important speech of our lunchtime, " My fellow African Americans and other Americans. I had a dream! there was a train and a tunnel and I was nailin Palin from behind as she screamed 'You betcha you betcha' then this midget came in a sucked on my balls as I thrusted but thats not important. The important thing is that we all do our best, if you sweep floors for a living or if yer a hooker then be the best one you can. Only by surrounding myself with Clinton's people and you all working like slaves er I mean like crackers will this country stop sucking so much.
We may be obese, we may be stoopid but we is Americans and as Americans we should be in charge because we be so big aight?
Ask not what yer country can do for you demand yer country do it because we are going self-entitlementism instead of Capitalism which is like socialism but won't scare dumb folk with the name. You demand health care, you demand bailouts, you demand rescue from hurricanes because as Capitalists you deserve nothing from the government, they don't have to save yer sorry fat ass but as Self-entitlementists you should get it....... within 6 - 30 working days.


Obama then to roaring crowds bit into his first babies head as only a president can do. Muzzletoff!

Some silly bint read a crap poem, Tina Turner sang a crap song and Ted Kennedy fell doon drunk again, when Ted drinks the secretaries stay away from him. We all winked and nudged each other, "Ah that must be the old tumor then, poor fella."

The good news is that even with my past record with Bush I still get to keep my job as a government think tank. I shall do my best. What do the American people want .... free pens? What will stop the world hating America so much .... nuclear holocaust? I have some thinking to do, well I get paid whether my ideas are accepted or not.

When people ask me 'Where where you when Obama took the oath?' I'll reply "Takin yer Ma."


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Do You Know Who My Da Was?

Ok its time that Old Knudsen jumped in and called a spade a spade. The only thing good that came from the Kennedy clan was all my 'you couldn't miss a head that size' jokes.

Kennedys are opportunistic bandwagon jumpers with no conscience, yes the ultimate politicians.

They sniff the wind and see what way it is blowing before they commit to anything. The US nearly had a female preez and almost a female vice preez so what do you see now? a female Kennedy with all the good looks that the Kennedys are famous for ................ yes that is sarcasm.

Yer only famous if the west coast (as in Callyfornia) hears about you.

America is in the fast lane to hell. It is a star that will go out extremely brightly taking everyone with them.

The UK has had Prime Ministers who were Catholic, Jewish, Female, Welsh and now Scottish. All the things that are judged to be coloured by the Old boy net work , no not MySpace.

The US doesn't have time to grow and evolve as a nation for that would get in the way of consuming.

Get yer politics sorted out people. It should be about who is the best for the job and there should be more than 2 choices, not whoever has the most money and tells the best bullshit stories.



Don't be fooled folks, Caroline Kennedy is the wicked witch of the western world. If you can't see the similarity then she has you in her glamour spell like the other Kennedys did. No! they were not good looking.

Obama has been encouraging so far. It looks as if he is looking to the past for tips and hints on how to get the country out of the trouble it is in. Many presidents think history is a credit report and repeat the old blunders which is why we are in yet another Nam or two and a great depression.

Watch out Obama, don't let kennedy drive and keep her away from the drink, also don't leave her alone with yer wife. Kennedys think that trust is where you keep yer money.




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Yer Ma Is A Ho Ho Ho

I was in a shop the other day and they had up all of their Christmas stuff for sale. I gestured towards the 7 foot Santa and said to the guy who worked there "Whats this?" and the funny bugger said 'Father Christmas' yes you stupid cunt I know who it is I didn't think it was Cher, I'm old I'm not fucking stupid. Then I pressed my point and said, "Its only September" The lad thought for a moment and then said "Costco have theirs up" whats that? peer pressure? So if Costco jumped off a bridge who you do it then? If he replied I didn't hear it as he was busy walking away from me he was a pretty fast walker.

For fucks sake it not even Thanksgiving yet that popular yank holiday in which the Pilgrims gave beads to the Indians to see their tits and then killed them for their land, Yay religious fanatics.

They go on about not being able to worship in peace and then go elsewhere and get on like oppressors whats that you say? I'm being antisemitic ? I didn't even mention the big nosed money lenders who start all the wars . I love Jews, hairy little skinny weirdos and thats just the weemen.

I won't even mention Halloween as that is the Devil's holiday and any one who cums to my door for candy will burn in Hell, after I turn the hose on them.

I thought I would get into the spirit of Christmas early too. I didn't see any trees up for sale and besides I celebrate Christmas as decreed in the Chinese handbook of torture 1954 . The Chinks don't do Christmas to they try to fuck yers up by poisoned toys etc but the torture trees are very good.

I prefer a live tree than a fake so I went a looking for one. I saw this brown bloke at the taco place and he seemed to be speaking a foreign language. Why can't foreigners learn to speak English? the Americans sort of learned to speak it.

He had brown skin, black hair speaking gibberish ha! he must be an Al Quada terrorist cum to blow up our Martin Luther King Jr statue, well me camel raping friend the 'Storm Bringer' is on to ya.

I always carry a rape bag which contains things like rope, duct tape and lip balm and I carry it for times just like this......... ish.

I grabbed the fucker by the tacos while yelling out a binding spell in the name of St Michael the patron saint of rape bags. Oh St Michael is protestant its a long story.

The Arab did pee himself the filthy bastard, that only works for skunks and Octopusses. He kept screaming "No Senior" I prefer 'elderly gentleman' to senior and it made me mad that he was judging me by my age.

So now I have a lovely Christmas tree up I cock my service revolver now and again to keep him awake and I'll keep him up until either his needles fall off or he tells me where Obama is.




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Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory

Always time to lube thats what my daddy used to say. Commenter says: "Oh Old Knudsen people only read you cos you put up dirty pictures!" away and fuck my Technocrati rating when from 107 to whatever low figure it is today. Do you think I give a fuck who reads me and for what reason?
Take what I give you and like it or lump it.

Its big and whitish.



Senator McCain use to be a tough talking Maverick not wanting to be President and now he is a toe the line go back of all the tough stances he took before puppet. I used to like him but now hes a bloated generic speaking geriatric.


Hmm I just love the Vanilla oh yeah baby. Who will be the president to cheat on his wife, McCain or Obama?

Recession Recession Recession Recession Recession Recession ! Depression Depression Depression Depression Depression! there I said it. Phil Gramm who recently called Americans 'whiny' and who has been a long time friend of McCain was instrumental in causing the recession when he got rid of depression era safe guard laws in the 90's getting rich himself while doing so.

Mongs lending money to mongs for houses who can't pay it back leaving the banks with homes they have to look after and no money, fucking stupid.
Wal-Mart is losing money cos everyone now shops at the 99 cent shop because the economy is so bad. The Mexicans are moving back to Mexico to get work.


I hope he wins cos McCain is just like the rest and it would be bloody funny thinking about all the white supremacists ranting on about their cuntrie's leader. If he gets in (fat chance) I'm taking bets for how long it takes for the lone gunman to find him and no I'll refuse the job as his head is a lot smaller than JFK's and I'm getting old, I'd probably just Perice one of his huge ear lugs. The guy has a head like the F.A. cup.



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I Hate People Who

Get bitter, and cling to guns or religion .

Shoot the fuckers and let God sort out his own!

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Why Obama Will Lose The Black Vote

Sent to me out of the blue by one of my loyal fans/stalkers. I thought he wouldn't get the black vote because he doesn't know how to be black, hes black like Condi , Halle Berry or Colon Bowel. The way you have sex change operations you could have race change operations. The wigger K-Fed is a white man who wants to be black, Obama and the rest are white men trapped in a black body, have you ever been trapped in a black body? I was once trapped in my Asian gurly boy wives' body once but I don't want to talk about it.

Lack of education when its free to them and high crime among the coloureds seems to me as if the stereotype of them being lazy is true but then again who was it that wanted slaves to do the work in the first place?

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Hillary Gives Obama Head

I was reading this on-line article asking if Obama was any good at basketball.

I've seen Soul Man and I know that you pick the black guy for yer team because basketball is the national game of many African cuntries or something.

Why haven't they asked how big his dick is? or if he has natural rhythm or likes BBQ chicken?

Has Hillary been asked about the whites and coloureds? how to bake a cake or fake an orgasm? you know the typical woman things.

Has the next president John McCain been asked if he has an ass or not or about his golf swing ? (though they let anyone play golf these days)

Whitey can't jump get out of the way of the B.O. Gangsta

Does it really matter? all the presidents have their thing, crap actor, CIA director, fake cowboy born in a log cabin, saxophone player.

Now we have the three main players, a fly boy who was tortured, a black-ish bloke with a name similar to pubic enemy # 1 and a woman who was married to a dirt bag president and now feels the need to lie about coming under sniper fire in Bosnia.

Does it matter? they will end up being a prick anyway and abusing their power. Name me one president in the last 28 years who wasn't and didn't.

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A Brief Exchange Of Respect

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The Black Kennedy

Its a little bit sickening to see the BBC reporters and their unbias gushing over Barack Obama. Over the past few months I've heard Bill Clinton being referred to as the 'First Black President' which obviously suggests that blacks shag all round them and lie.

Now I've heard Obama being called the 'The Black Kennedy ' and that I don't mind because look how they end up.

Isn't it a nice wee invite comparing a black bloke to a Kennedy and putting him up for president ? So Obama is a crooked womaniser ? you don't have to be a fortune teller to know how this one will turn out . Brains all over nice suits and another national hero to go onto t-shirts, you just know Denzil Washington will star in the film.

I see Obama more as a 'White Martin Luther King jr' says all the right lofty things that people like to hear but has no answers, that one ended the Kennedy way too, its yer destiny lad.

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Killer On The Loose

Secretary killing adulterer and which way the wind will blow, back stabbing politician Edward (does my hypocrisy make me look fat?) Kennedy is backing Obama instead of long time friend Bill er sorry Hilary Clinton. They are all a pack of false lying shites anyway and Obama should pick his mates better, he should also give up, its not called the Whitehoose for nothing you know.

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Obama for what?

Obama looking out of place in whitey's world.

I told Hilary the same thing as I'm going to tell Obama, don't fucking bother mate you've got a snowballs chance in hell (racial slur/pun intended) to be preez you have to be a straight white male that's not a *Fenian* (catholic) I really don't think either you or the swinger's wife applies, its just the way things are, go on name me the other black (Jefferson doesn't count) and female US Presidents, you think America is open and enlightened (pun intended) enough yet?



* Kennedy lasted how long?*


Paid by the John McCain obvious choice for President campaign.

Like I give a fuck I just like to stir up shit and poke at liberals as they get left out too many times.