Old Knudsen Del Toro

Emiliano Mercado del Toro, no shit that's actually someone's name, this gentleman became the world's oldest man last year, well according to the Guiness book of records, Old Knudsen doesn't believe everything he reads though, well except if its in the Bible and then you know its true, or you'll burn you sinful fuckers.
Well anyway, Guiness gives me the shits, goes right through me like a dose of salts.
Emil the Bull just had his 115th birthday, he was unable to give those 114 year olds and younger who are waiting for him to die the fingers, due to arthritis, what a title to hold, knowing that several old farts are waiting for you to die so they can have their 15 minutes of fame before they cark it, oh the pressure. Mr The Bull put his long life down to, "who are you people?, I want to go home to my mommy wah!", only kidding, if Old Knudsen ever got to the World's Oldest Man and a reporter on a crap story assignment asked me the secret to long life, Old Knudsen would say this,"screw as many hot bitches as you can and bathe in the blood of young runaways".
What Mr Bull actually said was," I never damaged my body with liquor", the silly old fucker smoked for 76 years, why did he give it up aged 90 if he was so fucking healthy then?, the moral of this story is, don't listen to stupid old geezers as they are full of Bull and just forgot to die, of course that doesn't include not listening to me, you'd be stupid not to read what I say, yes, I'm talking to you click next Blog, don't leave me, I've seen the next Blog and boy are they morons, oh fuck you, don't say I didn't warn you, wave goodbye to your last 3 brain cells.