Beam me Up Billy.

Billy in need of a cigarette and a think.

Billy was an older fella that I worked with at the paint warehoose. He looked just like Scotty out of Star Trek as he was in the movies , he had a small scar on his forehead which he told people he got in a Glasgow knife fight when he would tell his stories about how rough the city was. In reality he got it as a child when he fell off the monkey bars in the playground. He'd tell his knife fight story while on holiday to the other tourists just to see their faces, and he told it well.

Holidays were Billy's thing, he'd save up for a year to take his wife for 2 drunken weeks in Spain, you party and drink all night and sleep off yer hangover by the pool for yer traditional lobster red sunburn. He knew all the angles and bargains, fellow workers came to him for holiday booking advice, if he wasn't reading the Sun newspaper then he was reading a travel brochure . I ended up naming him Billy Holiday, not a great joke as no one knew who 'she' was (Billie Holiday famous blues singer) but it amused me and that's what counted.

Billy had a son who was a famous local footballer (soccer) everyone came to Billy to talk footie and Billy shone like a proud father, he took credit of course for teaching his son everything he knew.
Billy was one of those people that could talk the hind legs off a donkey, once he used to be a very conscientious worker but a few years of being constantly shit upon by management he only did as much as he had to and the amount he talked increased. If any of you lot out there are incharge of Plebs, at least pretend to be nice to them, shit may roll doon hill but sometimes it gets backed up.

Billy didn't do Blogging.

Now Billy tackled every job with caution, if there was an effort to be made he'd pull out his cigarette, sit doon on a pallet and think, then after the smoke he'd go on his tea break . I'm surprised anything got done there. Another thing Billy was famous for was funerals, every other week he would attend one, all natural causes, maybe the man was a scud, you know a Jonah if we were on a boat he'd be thrown over board to keep bad luck away.
Always full of stories of how his friend went to the Doctor's office and was told there was nothing wrong with him and he dropped dead a day later or to fuel the cell phone myth how his friend got a cancerous lump behind his ear, yes the ear that he held his cell phone to, Bluetoothers beware not only do you look silly but you'll all die, maybe his friend was a former Russian spy and the Russians did something to his phone.

Billy was a good man who you could trust and rely upon without him having to prove it, you just knew, he was always saying how good he was but ready to admit it if he made a mistake.
If anyone was to leave their job he would always organise a whip round (collection of money) and give it to them on their last day. I felt sorry for Billy as when I left the management didn't bother to hire a replacement for me which was sorely needed as it left Billy to work with a guy I had nicknamed 'the Moron' but Billy was happy for me, or at least he was gracious enough to never show otherwise.