A Ham Shank.

I was thinking back to Old Knudsen's spank bank throughout the years and I remembered Nicolette Sheridan, then I remembered what Dive said about Stevie nicks getting old and bloated, then I remembered where my TV remote was, in the olden days the Tvs would not only be made with a wood effect but would have a dial to tune into the stations, now you can't even turn on some of the bloody tellys on without your remote and that's always the first thing to break, fucking Toshiba piece of shit, anyway back to spanking the plank.

The Martini adverts of old, had a young sexy gurl on roller skates holding a tray that had a bottle of Martini on it , the music sang,"anytime anyplace anywhere" how sexy was that? far better than the gurl on roller skates being pulled by doggies while a big ,man hating feminist screams, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH BODYFORM, BODYFORM FOR YOU" , that second advert in no way gave me a stiffy but scared the crap out of me.

Nicolette Sheridan was that Martini gurl, she then went on to the film 'The sure thing' not a great actress but nice to look at, she disappeared for a while to turn up in one of them American soaps like Dynasty or something in which she snogged some dirty old guy a lot, I don't want to see that unless I'm the dirty old guy.
So disapproving and angry looking, so would you be if you had sex with Michael Bolton, why do older weemen with plastic surgery all end up looking like creepy cat weemen?

Now 25 years on she is one of the um sex symbols in desperate Housewives, the only nice one there is Eva Lungeria and she is an indiscreet sausage snacker.
Nicolette has gone the route of the panicked celeb, as she got older and found out that her audience is more shallower than her , she got the face lift, nose job, lips package and exercised to the extreme to achieve that muscled sinewy haggard look that men find so attractive, no more soft curves all chiseled and veiny .


Ah well my spank bank needed a clear out, those that aged gracefully are still in there, Virginia Mayo , Olivia De Havilland and Esther Williams, now you can all go and vomit, I have matters to take into hand.


Virginia Mayo
Legs all the way up to her arse, I won't sully her memory with some tacky joke about spreading Mayo on top.



This is what happens when you get too much plastic surgery, yeah I'd still do her.