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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Read My Lips


Old Knudsen doesn't watch his T.V. with the sound turned all the way up so loud that people outside can guess how much the items will be on the Antiques Roadshow, I'm not deaf yet but I do prefer to use captions for the hard of hearing.

The transcribers on some of the programmes either leave parts out or just give up, swear words may be blocked from the sound but sometimes you can still read them, do these people typing away drink alot? if Old Knudsen can tell when something is spelt wrongly then it must be bad, here are some examples.

On the weather report they foretold a 'chance of rape' I bathed and clipped me toenails but Old Knudsen was left sad and unmolested, then there was the 'nature of the STBLX' what the fuck? word verification again? now I didn't do much book learnin but I'm pretty sure that's not a word, work these ones out.

'The man cop rated', 'The woman and her Todd lir', '200 beards recovered' and has anyone ever said to you, "its smell like something crawled up you and died?" (I get it all the time) well the captions have a name for it 'Die Rearia'.

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