Beer And Boak.

Here is a story I remembered when I read a beer and boak post at Kav's Blog.

Years back when I was working for a company that made Snuff videos, well we prefer to call them promotional videos for Snuff products, it's an old habit but its still out there. We had had a good year with sales and our Boss who was usually a tight fisted git took his employees out to dinner at a, well I don't know, Chinese or Thai or something, I don't know, I went for the free food and drink not the fucking culture.
We sat down at a large table the food kept coming and so did the wine, wine? no Sammy I'm not gay, it was free and gets you drunk so I drank it, a lot of it.
Red is far worse than white but as that was all on offer so I bravely soldiered on.
I burned my hand on some sizzling hot plate they had, bloody dangerous, no one spoke enough drunken English to understand I wanted Ice.
We all piled out the door, and I felt someone yank my coat back, so I turned round and hit em,(like you do) thus ensued a drunken fight on the ground outside the place, it turned out that my coat got caught on the door handle but it was all fun.

To our surprise our Boss took us to another bar, I was only in there less than 10 minutes before the bouncers threw me out, I had a little trouble with my vertical balance it seems, I thought I was fine, falling over people seemed the right thing to do at the time, my boss phoned for a taxi, now I never take those things walking is better, I have a homing device in my head and no matter how blocked I am I always get home, 98% of the time.

I don't remember too much about the taxi ride, I believe I threw up in the cab and jumped out and walked the rest of the way home, I know this as there was an angry taxi driver at my work place the next day, no sense of humour those guys.

Well I did get home, I was greeted at my door by my two doggies I had then I petted them and fed them, well I petted them and threw up yet again all over my hall and the good wee animals lapped it up, my then wife appeared like a vision of doom at the top of the stairs and said I had better clean it up, I gestured to the dogs that were doing a fine job, she didn't look too impressed, never marry a woman just because she has big knockers, ah you live and learn.

I slept on the sofa that night, my lovely wife took a photograph of me passed out to embarrass me, but it only made me ask why was there bright orange stuff all over my face and clothes, that would be the colour of chinky food and red wine, that stuff glowed in the dark, you could paint traffic cones with it.
I learnt my lesson, never eat funny foreign food as it makes you boak, nope had nothing to do with the gallons of wine of that I'm sure.