God does indeed work in mysterious ways. I was pretty broke the other week its a long story about the police finding bodies that I claim government benefits for I shan't bore you with the incriminating details.So anyway I was looking around the Interweb and I saw this poster offering a reward . It so happens I was minding a Yorkshire terrier for a neighbour who is in hospital after breaking a hip on some ice, you see Old Knudsen is somewhat of a good Samaritan.
The real heroes of the world are dog groomers and hair dressers, have you ever tried to bleach and perm the head of a small animal ? God doesn't makes tasks easy, he helps him who helps himself but it looks like I did most of the work.
So I did all that and took some of the doggie to the owner, it was in quite a state by the time it got there because after I had finished I had the thought that every male has in a situation like this "I wonder what it would feel like to stick my dick into it" not bad I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.
The Chinese woman didn't look very happy to see wee Ling Ling, her husband pushed a £ 50 note into my hand, that was it? for fucks sake doing the Lord's work certainly doesn't pay much.
On the way past the cemetery I picked up some flowers to go visit my neighbour, well I have to tell her about wee Mr Dizzy running away. I hope she likes the flowers, see? I'm not a total cunt.
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