Fuck I hate Valentine's day mostly because people are obliged to become dickheads for a day. I was out yesterday and was nearly getting run over by the sad desperate people with their last minute buying any over priced thing with a heart on it, so fucking original.Why not get the woman of yer dreams a gym membership or a boob job ? or the man of yer dreams an air freshener to shove up his hole so when he farts at the dinner table and during sex the farts come out lemon scented.
I refuse to be told by Hallmark when to love people, that includes weemen, mothers, fathers and those lazy bastards known as grandparents. What about secretary day? what makes them so special? I spent 40 years man and boy digging fucking ditches and I never got no ditch digger's day.
No idea why I was digging ditches but I felt something bad would happen if I didn't, you'd call it OCD now but back then we called it fucked in the head.
There already are special days when you tell people you love them and maybe get a shag, they're called weekends and its usually after 10 or so pints (anything after 10 I'm in a fighting mood than shagging mood) I might buy you a pernod and blackcurrant (a leg opener) but I'm no buying ya a chocolate rose ya fat cow.
Which brings me on to my next subject besides fucking chocolate heart buying sheep fooled into the money making schemes of big business based on a dirty Pagan Roman orgy festival and dressed up by the Pope to make Prods look soppy.
When you buy a can of Spaghetti hoops or baked beans on the front they have a picture of the item and its a plate of the said food and then it has the audacity to print 'serving suggestion' how else are you going to fucking eat them? stuff each Spaghetti hoop or bean with avo fucking cado?
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