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Sunday, November 26, 2006

I Am The Music Nerd I Come From Down Yer Way.

Dr Dick Helmer, creator of the music shirt.

Australian Scientists working for the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation or CSIRO have cured cancer and solved world hunger, er no wait I got that confused with the wishes of the miss world contestants, the Australian blokes have done better, they have created a shirt that has intelligent textiles woven into it and can communicate with computers to make music when the wearer plays air guitar, excellent, not only will the heavy metal dirt heads look like mongs when they play back in black with their eyes closed and that pained expression on their faces but they will also sound like it too when it sounds nothing like it.

CSIRO have said how this wearable instrument will be able to help people recover after accidents by teaching them how to bend and walk again, and with these clothes patients in other countries can get examined by specialists.
You can work a computer without ever touching a mouse or a keyboard and play computer games, or learn how to play golf or tennis.

Helping mankind in general, CSIRO have patented it and are looking into how to make an ass load of money out of it but it won't be ready this Christmas.
Do people that play video games want to jump about like their on screen characters or do they just want to sit and wiggle their thumbs for 12 hours? I just don't want to be having a ham shank over some Interweb hottie that wants to do nasty things to me for £29.99 a month only to find out I just e-mailed my wank to a 15 year old gurl in Russia who gets pregnant so now I'm a Pedo Slavicator with a little baby on the way, all bad, maybe they'll make a pair of intelligent gunties that say "you got skids" when you need to change them because on the darker coloured ones you just can never tell.

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