You should all know by now that I'm a Time Lord. I can travel through time, space and open fields at the speed of very fast. You should all know from watching TV , films and reading books that you can't change time or you fuck it up in some horrible way and the Time Lords will send the mud monsters after you if you do, also that its a good plot device. Well if I could go back and give myself a message, advice or warning what would it be?
When Ugga brings me his wheel design and offers to bring me in as a partner don't laugh in his face, say "yes."
Pull out before I cum when having sex with Nessie the Neanderthal to avoid creating the Greeks.
Do not invest heavily in Bronze just as the Iron age hits.
Don't holiday in Pompei in 79 AD
Don't give Columbus yer best guess on which way to go because just look how that turned out.
When fellow Scot Alexander Graham Bell tells me about the telephone at a dinner party, don't laugh and mock him saying "will there be wireless phones that can take pictures too?" Invest!
Don't marvel at the Titanic's speed heading towards an iceberg and wonder if the look out has seen it, shout something. That was a swim and a half I can tell you.
Take credit for fighting Hitler to the death and tell the world he was a Gorbesh Demon who go up in flames when you kill them, the world has to know.
Send Britney an e-mail reminding her to wear a pair of gunties when getting out of cars, that was nasty.
When Ugga brings me his wheel design and offers to bring me in as a partner don't laugh in his face, say "yes."
Pull out before I cum when having sex with Nessie the Neanderthal to avoid creating the Greeks.
Do not invest heavily in Bronze just as the Iron age hits.
Don't holiday in Pompei in 79 AD
Don't give Columbus yer best guess on which way to go because just look how that turned out.
When fellow Scot Alexander Graham Bell tells me about the telephone at a dinner party, don't laugh and mock him saying "will there be wireless phones that can take pictures too?" Invest!
Don't marvel at the Titanic's speed heading towards an iceberg and wonder if the look out has seen it, shout something. That was a swim and a half I can tell you.
Take credit for fighting Hitler to the death and tell the world he was a Gorbesh Demon who go up in flames when you kill them, the world has to know.
Send Britney an e-mail reminding her to wear a pair of gunties when getting out of cars, that was nasty.
Never trust a Lemur.
Wear condoms when I shag Salma Hayek and Halle Berry and don't let Tom Cruise talk me into giving him a sperm sample that has to be pulled off by him in a quiet room, I'm not Suri what he used it for.
When I set up my first Blog give it a deep thoughtful title that won't turn prudes away and don't fucking swear so much or you won't get the right fucking audience, instead you'll get sex made cunts who want midget sex and cock, no wait that's me.
*What message, warning or advice would you give to yerself?*
*Fully expects this question to be abused like Gary Coleman at a pedo convention.*
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