Alba Gu Bra!

Saint Andrew's Day

Saint Andrew, from the Greek name meaning 'manly' and rightly so, Andrew was a disciple of John the Baptist and the brother of Simon Peter and was born at Bethsaida in Galilee, we know this because his birth certificate was found with the Dead sea scrolls.
He was a busy saint and was also the saint of :::spits:::: Romania, Russia, Malta and Greece, the Greeks know how to treat their patron saint, those were the fuckers that crucified him on the crooked cross which went on to become the Scottish national flag, otherwise known as the Saltire, which in fact is the oldest national flag in Europe, so fuck yas all.

The Thistle, as prickly as I am and loved by thousands of people, just like me also.

Enough of all this Slav and Greek crap, no offense to those two dirty races but its 'my' day, Saint Andrew was a good Protestant just like Jesus, the reason he became the patron saint of Scotland was that he was chatting to St Paddy and he was telling him about the lovely cold and wet weather in Ireland and Scotland but he had his hands full with the Irish, a troublesome lot they are so St Andy said I'll head on over to Bonny Scotland (she was the travel agent) and I'll take a wee holiday in beautiful Alba, (Jessica Alba, I wish) well he went and enjoyed a few rounds of golf as he also the patron saint of golfing and the rest is true Scottish history, so have a wee dram to warm up yer bones followed by a chaser of 18 beers, go fondle a sheep and spit at something English, a muffin will do, for today if you don't want to be Scottish for a while you must be a slack jawed cunt.


Alba Gu Bra!