You know if you are a true Scotsman.
if you've had Alcohol posioning at least once and your first heart attack before the age of 25.
If by the age of 9 you were a 4 pack a day man and your da bummed cigarettes from you.
If you have as a mortal enemy not the English but your own liver.
If your stubbornness means you'll never quit smoking and drinking because quitting is for the weak.
If you consider somebody getting glassed in a pub fight as 'in house' entertainment.
If you venture into busy traffic on the off chance that the small round thing you saw on the road is a penny.
If you are prepared to fight to the death other Scotsmen that also see it.
If you are suspicious of strangers though you trust your own family and friends as far as you can throw them.
If you think that everyone else is soft and healthcare is only for the sick and besides its only a little blood that you coughed up.
If the sound of bagpipes stirs your blackened soul and you sing along energetically even if you don't know the words,"DA DA DA DA DA DA DA Scotland the brave".
If you're at the point were you punch foreigners who ask if you have a kilt and whats *under* it.
*amendment*
If hot foreign weemen ask this question as a pick up line they will not be hit, assuming they are not too hideous (as many foreigners are, esp Slavs) and will totally degrade me in the act of love making.
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