You Know You Want Me To Call You.

I must put out my friend and regular reader Russell Crowe's side of the whole phone throwing story , you may have heard of it.While in an American hotel he had trouble with the phone in his hotel room , he couldn't get through to his wife in Australia , the guy at the reception desk wasn't helpful enough so Russ ripped the phone out and went downstairs and threw it at him.
I think it would be more understandable if I put it into these terms.

All week I've had trouble with Blooper (Blogger) either I just couldn't get on or I couldn't save to draft or publish, all I could do is stare at my blog or wank over my site meter, whoever is from Motherwell got me there,
thankyou .

Even the Muslims are pissed off at Blogger, this is them angrily burning something or other.

I trolled around leaving unhelpful comments as anonymous but really its all about the post with me, I need to get my thoughts and ideas down so I can upload into a strong, bullet proof non - rust robot body and rule the world, no really, I know a guy that can do it, its not cheap but it will be worth it. I've seen pictures of the invincible war-bot I'm to become you will tremble with fear when the Knudsenator is unleashed.

Prepare to become enslaved you weak humongs, I can bend it Like Beckham and I can bend beckham himself.

Anyway, I get a tad miffed when Blooper messes me around because I believe they are all out to get me, no infact I get quite irked, if I had a dog I would kick it. I'd rather find a Blooper employee, maybe that one that writes the spiffy maintenance updates with the insincere apologies and I'd like to bounce my keyboard off his head, bow to give honour and adopt a karate stance and see if he thinks hes hard enough to have a go or call the police. What Russell did now was totally understandable right?

If your gurlfriend cheats on you, you beat the guy up, see it all makes sense.


Imogen Stubbs' arse from the 1988 Drama 'The Rainbow'



Russell who pleaded guilty to 3rd degree assault said in an interview.

"Where I come from , a confrontation like that , as basic and simple as that, would have been satisfied with a handshake, a few cans of beer and then we'd kill a croc and put it on the Barbie, its only Aussie rules phone tag mate fair dinkum".



He then went on to say that the American legal system is very open to misuse. How dare he, if you wish to sue Mr Crowe over this statement and the jacket that he wore when he was arrested call 1 - 800 SUE THEM.

You can take her Russ, you're a Gladiator but what a jacket to be seen in public wearing.


Oj Simpson and Michael Jackson have both condemned Crowe and say they are quite happy with the legal system, former President and ugly intern chaser Bill Clinton was unavailable for comment as he is busy promoting his new book, 'Define Big Fat Liar' anything to keep him away from the Gorgon he married.



David Beckham is already a little bit bent. Congrats on next year's Knighthood David, lets hope by then your balls will have dropped and you don't sound like such a squeaky twat.