While on other peoples comments I was reminded of the uber politeness I received when I first started this Blog. I went onto a blog I happened across and read a post about child molesters/murderers, those fuckers put me into a K-fed rage, I want to smash and destroy, so I did indeed have something to say, I commented , you know me I called for summary execution in a vile and painful way, well I was polite about it as I usually am on my first encounter with new people.
A few days later I got a comment from the woman who owned the blog saying something like
" thankyou for stopping by and commenting on my blog, I found your blog to be very interesting" .
Old Knudsen though happy to get a comment at the time (his second one maybe) would of liked a little sincerity to it, I knew she wouldn't be back, my wit no doubt went over her head, that is my down fall, that and being thoroughly unlikable.
I compare those comments to the spam everyone gets.
"I was looking over your blog and I didn't find what I was looking for, you could make over £900 a month"
Its a polite handshake that says, "ok we're done, I may see you on the street and we'll nod and say hello but really that's it" .
Someone is bound to say,"what we can't even be polite to each other now?" theres always some smart arse, I'm saying be polite sure but there is a fine line between being polite and being insincere and smarmy just because you mouth the words doesn't mean them to be true, go to Japland for double meaning polite speak.
I have a very eclectic taste in blogs and I think my links list shows that. People write these blogs, sure most of them are total wankers again refer to my links list, some go for sexy, homespun, disgusting , intelligent, funny, insightful, surreal and how the fuck did they come up with that? fucking beautiful mind stuff that is, or a mix of all of these, you know who you are (yes Footeater you're sexy blog, sorry Dr Maroon you're sporty blog) I always try to remember its a person writing the post before I respond in a most inappropriate manner and that this is not some kind of business to get the most readers, perhaps my addiction to pain killers has robbed me of ambition but I just want to have some fun and meet some cool people, some day I hope to do both, and if this blog leads to a deletion for threatening to bounce keyboards off Blooper employees heads or a movie deal starring Hugh Jackman as Old knudsen the crusty Scottish Blogger burnt out and on the edge (no its not a ghey flick with that U2 fella) then so be it.
I am constantly amazed that people think about Old Knudsen and go to the trouble of clicking onto his blog, I am more amazed that they come back, if you have any suggestions or ideas for my blog then shove it up yer hole , thanks for taking the time to insult me in my comments.
Its been mentioned many times before but it bugs the hell out of me. You're standing peeing away in a public urinal or trough and the place is empty, another bloke comes in and stands right beside you and starts peeing, not 3 feet away not 2 feetaway but right beside you, whats worse is as you're standing there all vunerable to attack because both your hands have to hold steady your massive lad
or you'd soak the place like a trainee fireman, you glance at the guy with the look on yer face what the fuck man? and he smiles and nods a greeting at you before he starts to tinkle. Nothing ghey just very intrusive, whats going on in that man's head? I'll stand next to him to keep him company? I'm just being polite? ah a fellow brother of the snake perhaps I'll strike up a conversation with him.
Once when I was down in dirty Dublin in a little pub, it was during the day and only some fellow old men were in there drinking, it was quiet and I was just talking to my mate. I went for a piss like you do and one of the other old guys came in, he starting talking to me while I pissed, all polite where are you from talk and then held out his hand for me to shake it, so not wanting to offend the locals as I hear the Irish used to be cannibal head hunters until 40 years ago I got a firm grip of my ' bendidick Arnold' (just made that up for you yanks) with my left hand and shook the old guy's hand then I returned to my bussiness and shook my old lanyard, of course after shaking someone's hand I made sure I washed my hands manly or not I did it, the old guy must of thought I was posh or something, washing my hands indeed.
Heres a picture of Kate Beckinsale for the troops, shes no Gloria Hunniford but shes still a lovely looking lass.I'm still getting searches for 'tits' on my shite meter , its from dirty foreigners now, but still I will put up breasts because (A) I like em and (B) what if a lonely soldier after a long day of killing Sand Savages needed a wank? I am there for you troops, if you don't put up breasts on your blog then the terrorists have won.
I haven't seen that Borat film yet, but from all the coverage I feel like I have, I did commit my first and not to be my last racial slur because of it. I was walking down the town with a mate, his name is Aaron you don't know the wee shite, he was born in a British military hospital in Germany and his tongue doesn't lift from the bottom of his mouth, I call him a freak show nazi but thats besides the point of what I'm talking about, anyway hes handy for carrying shopping, we were heading into Cooperfield market but the man in from of us with his wife and a million gypsy looking little kids were walking so slowly which in turn slowed us down , I had to get to the pound shop before all the cheap picture frames are gone, I'm giving everyone for Christmas a photo of me in a frame, I'm not sure if I should sign it or not or would that appear arrogant or something? anyway you fuckers aren't getting one, I'm not spending any more than £ 10.00 this year.
So I was behind this tribe, Aaron says he wants to go to the bodyshop to get his mam some soap that smells like pineapple. I looked at the fella ahead of me and he was a little bit swarthy with black hair and a big moustache, I said to Aaron, "we aren't going anywhere unless Borat here moves his fat Slavic arse", as soon as it came out I felt a little ashamed, mostly because fucking Borat didn't hear me or understand me and also if I had someone to back me up in a brawl instead of the freak show nazi I would of poked him in the back with my walking stick, maybe it was God teaching me tolerance, or maybe he was telling me that I need to get a cattle prod.
Nothing to do with anything except Old Knudsen's whims, here is Glynis Johns, the best of the two things that Wales ever had to offer, the second thing would be promiscuous sheep.Blog on Bloggers
0 comments:
Post a Comment