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Saturday, December 23, 2006

It Be Big Red And Slimy And I Be Afraid Of It. No Thats Only Ken Livingstone.



A team of Japanese Scientists have caught the 30 foot squid that has been sinking local Japanese fishing boats over the last 3 years, it is the first time one has been caught on film never mind actually caught. I feel validated after all of these years hunting the 6 seas for 'Big Red' the 60 foot Giant Squid, that snatched my cabin boy little Micky Dolenz off the deck of my boat with one of his giant testicles, dragging him to the icy depths and doon to Davy Jones' locker room .

Now will ya all believe me? I am e-mailing this post to the Spanish authorities who said that I killed him due to a love triangle between me, little Micky and the cook, well shove that in yer extradition order, now I just have to convince the Canadian police that my mountain guide dirty Pierre was beat to death by a Sasquatch, I saw the whole thing, that's why I was covered in his blood, you believe me right? what kind of monster would lie on Christmas eve?

We need a bigger boat.

The Jap scientists took their pictures and measurements and then continued their hunting of Whales for scientific research, expect Giant Red Squid to turn up on menus beside the Whale and rice all over Japan this week.

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