You cunts just go about and buy yer expensive toys and deck yer halls etc but have you ever thought of the price of Christmas? yeah like you really care just drink yer eggnog and eat yer turkey.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Or you can just say, "fuck the Elves I'm ok" and look at this Christmas totty. I know what I want for Christmas.
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