Fart Proudly

Sometimes old people don't know they have farted until they feel the wet patch.

Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old Maurice Fox from breaking wind while indoors. He got a letter saying his actions had disgusted other members and could he stay near the front door so he could leave when required to blow off .

I am disgusted, firstly at the name Maurice and secondly I didn't fight the Germans at pearl Harbour the Japs at El Alamein and the Zebulons on Rixar 5 just so an old man could be denied the freedom to let off a juicy one where ever he pleases.

This sort of in- fighting is the very thing that Al Qaeda loves to see. Kirkham Street Sports are just as bad as Hitler and Osama, you fucking fart nazis and terrorist enablers .

Mr Fox has been a club member for 20 years and knows that sometimes he gets windy and calls himself an old fart. Was it not Shakespeare who said " where ever you be let yer wind go free, for that's what killed me Horatio ?" I don't know to be honest because Shakespeare was overrated crap.

Mr Fox said he said that he had not received any verbal warnings, I'm not surprised he probably sits alone in his own cloud, he thinks someone complained about the noise as he is a loud farter but there is no smell.

Palace Place club another club where Mr Fox also goes has had no problem as they hold regular fart lighting competitions.

I am disgusted at this man's liberty being trampled upon , sure the UK is not a free country as there is no such thing but farts go back into history as far back as William the Conqueror in 1066 when he got off his boat to invade England he ripped off a wet one and said, "good arse I thought you were dead" which highly amused his troops and lifted moral enough to beat Harold's army.

It is thought that if Churchill hadn't of farted as much as he did then we wouldn't have defeated Hitler who himself was an much admired breaker of wind .

First smoking and now farting, welcome to the Soviet state.

Mr Fox, the time for honesty is over and guerilla tactics are called for, if you fart pick someone as a patsy and exclaim loudly " Jim, you stinking shite" or partake in the silent but deadly farts , once you do it move on to somewhere and then come back and yet again blame yer patsy again, soon everyone will be believing Jim to be the Connaisseur of his own brand and he shall be the outcast not you.